WHERE'S YOUR FOCUS?!
Are you focused on what you want?
Or are you focused on what you don't want?
It matters because, either way, you get what you focus on. Focus is what counts—not the yes, bring it on or the no, get it away directed to the object of your attention. Whatever has your attention, that's what you're calling forth.
Find the comfort and bolstering in this: you have the power to choose your focus. You have power to notice where you're directing your focus, and power to redirect it.
This requires that you monitor your own feeling states, as they'll alert you to where your focus is. It's this simple: you're not focused on what you want if you're scared, stressed, horrified, outraged, filled with hatred, obsessed with the details of the Things You Don't Want.
So monitor your feeling states. Make it a project. Then you can, at any moment, one more time, catch yourself in an unwanted state; notice that your attention is on the Thing You Don't Want; and refocus on what you do want.
How many of us approached the US presidential election with NOT-HIM as the focus? Did you catch wind of the millions of dollars of free advertising the media gave the orange oaf because, good story with double-plus bad villain? Did you, maybe daily, read (watch, review, discuss, laugh about, rail against) all kinds of details about the candidate you most didn't want? I did.
Are you ready to quit it? I am. At the very least, I've declared one positive outcome of this election to be a deep learning about where I place my focus. I've been practicing this anyway, and I constantly urge clients to mind their focus! Current events drive the point home so fiercely, I'm no longer willing to dabble. I aim to master this thing. Are you with me?
So I'm not listening to much news right now. I know I'm not alone in this: I keep encountering folks who have declared their own pause in hooking up to the toxic-T I.V., or who've weaned down to a very slow drip.
I invite you not to join those making bleak predictions about what will happen next now that the Thing You Don't Want has been (sort of) voted in.
Predictions of horrors to come only call them forth. What happens next could in fact be a mollified version of the worst possible. There will be mitigating forces, and you and I can be part of them—but not by fighting AGAINST anything; by putting the focus on what we want. What if we all made predictions of goodness—peace, love, tolerance, intelligence, competence, goodwill toward all—actually prevailing. Goodness could actually prevail.
Focus on grace. There's always grace.
There's evolution, to be sure, and backlash (which is all the T-bone represents) is a normal part of evolution, to be expected (but not focused on!). Let's not forget—and let's keep honoring how HUGE it was—that a Black man was voted in as US President to serve two terms in the Oval Office. We're evolving, and there's no turning back. Focus on that.
I invite you not to cultivate fear. Remember, you're minding your feeling states. So soothe yourself whenyou catch yourself in fear, and actively refocus onthoughts, dialog, and visions that bring you hope and courage. Keep voting for what you want by giving that your focus.
(Once again, if you don't own Scooch! already, please pick up the free download of part 1 of my book. It's got all kinds of good stuff about nonresistance, getting out of overwhelm, getting comfortable with your discomfort, and, most relevant here—in chapter 3—how to mind the pain body and tend the mind.)
I invite you to bring this FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT thing to all aspects of your own life, because your small, singular, personal life, in the midst of big political affairs, still matters. Further, how you show up for yourself will affect what you're able to bring to the political scene and how you can support other individuals and the greater good.
So how many things in your personal world do you approach with a focus on what you don't want? I've read some fascinating dating profiles that begin with words about what someone just won't have (No crazies for me, because, gosh, I seem to attract nothing but that, ever!). People launch job searches with declarations of what isn't out there or who's more qualified or what they'll have to put up with if they want to get a foot in. Wrong focus.
If the election fiasco doesn't make this FOCUS point with crystal clarity, what will it take? Intend it. Allow yourself to scooch toward getting it—practice it, play with it. Then you can both take greater charge of your own life, inviting and creating more of what you want for yourself, and you can be a force holding steady to a vision of peace and well-being for a nation and the world. (And hey, it won't be passive: a sharp focus also brings in the inspirations, collaborations—whatever's needed—to help you take the right steps to head that way!)
Love & blessings galore, Jaya
Some of my coaching offerings have changed. Check them out! From 30-minute options for the efficient & pressed-for-time, to super-coaching options for those who want daily contact with me! The latter is for short-term deep work and super-support to apply what you know and the concepts we're working on to each new wave that's cresting now!
Want more support to face your fear?
My friend & colleague Kelli Younglove is offering a gorgeous one-on-one coaching program on fear, with a lovely price. Why? Well, it's a pilot program and she's testing some stuff. Her coaching techniques & experience are tried and true, so I can't urge you enough to go for it if you've identified that fear is what holds you back from full-throttled authentic living!
Curious about coaching? Sign up for a free 30-minute exploration session.
Have you found my YouTube channel yet?
My answers to random client questions
I recommend just using it as audio. There's nothing visual except me sitting there in front of the camera and, you know, moving my lips and waving my hands around a bit and—do I really make that many faces?