 Photo of tall bins of dried legumes at a market. From v2osk on Unsplash. How we do put things in categories It’s as if we human beings can’t make sense of life unless we think and talk and dream and plot & scheme in terms of separate realms of life that we can name. For example:
Florence Scovel Shinn, author of The Game of Life and How to Play It, posited four squares of life: 1) health, 2) wealth, 3) love, and 4) perfect self-expression. There are many ways to slice the pie. Sometimes, I find myself pointing out to a client that the Universe doesn’t care about realms of life. Ultimately, it’s all your one life. We slice it up into (and fixate on) the categories to manage it all and to sort through it mentally and conversationally. And why do I feel the need to point that out? Why does that even matter? It matters in a huge and perhaps surprising way. When you fixate on a category that’s wobbly, thorny, painful, baffling—problematic in any way--you feel bad. Then, perhaps, you tend to focus on how bad you feel about it, and you keep it in view mentally so you don’t lose track of this problem you need to solve. You put what’s not working under the microscopic, so it takes up your whole field of vision and determines your feeling state. Familiar? Quick LOA review In Law of Attraction (LOA) terms, you’re now a match for the problem, not the solution. You’re pointing at what you don’t want—whereas the advice for harnessing the power of LOA (which, like gravity, is operative whether you use it to your advantage or not) is to point at, or keep the focus on, what you DO want. Remember, what you focus on expands. The feeling state you’re cultivating determines what you’re calling in. And since what you point toward also establishes the direction you’re heading, then when you fixate on a currently (or chronically) dissatisfying life category, you’re pointing toward what you don’t want—and building momentum in the wrong direction, propelling yourself toward the unwanted. Applying this to life categories Let’s say your love life isn’t to your liking and your brow furrows and your heart feels heavy when you think about it; whereas other realms of life are going pretty well. Maybe work is really humming along and your home has never felt more welcoming and containing and aligned with your aesthetic. How does it benefit you that the Universe doesn’t care about categories? You can actually make your life better by looking away from your love life. GET OFF THE TOPIC of the problematic category. For those of you already objecting, I’m not saying never think about it. I’m not saying don’t sit with it in a clear state and with an open mind to invite inspiration and right action. But that's not what most of us do with the thing that isn’t going great for us. Typically, we ruminate, or get in our heads about it, and focus on it in tense & straining, discouraged & disempowered ways. We grip the problem (or wrestle it to the ground, as Abraham-Hicks says) and either force solutions or brood about the complexity & perhaps hopelessness of the whole thing. Again, this makes us a match to the problem, not the solution. We’re contracted and unhappy, and (you know the difference viscerally, right?) not relaxed, trusting life, open to the multiple solutions that want to come in—never mind what we do or don’t see here and now. So what if you gave relaxed, appreciative, even joyful attention instead to what’s going well? As you focus on what you feel good about, the multiple areas in your life where things are easy & running smoothly, the areas of success and flow, the stuff that satisfies and generates new ideas & creative impulses … then you become a match for more of that. You invite more of that (watch for more of that, notice more of that, generate more of that).  Photo of a colorful outdoor market, with areas of flowers, baskets, and clothing visible. From Roberto Carlos Román Don on Unsplash. Then what about the category that’s not going great? As you keep the realms of life that are going well in view, and focus there, and thus build your predominant feeling state from there (i.e., you feel good more & most of the time), then the Universe, or LOA, is happy to flow that over to any specific category, because CATEGORIES DON’T MATTER. (I could almost say they’re not real.) It’s really all you. So imagine what happens with the hard stuff when WHO YOU ARE is the happy, relaxed, trusting one who generally feels great about your life. I invite you to literally imagine it. To think back to when you’ve felt that way. To take in others around you who live that way. Make this as real to yourself as you can, mentally, so that you’re more likely to live into it in the practical day-to-day of it. But what about DEALING WITH what’s not going right? Well, again, NO RUMINATING. (That puts you in ongoing focus on problems and robs you of presence. It keeps you from enjoying what’s going well and optimizing what you have the power to control right now. Otherwise stated: it keeps you from loving your beautiful life.) Choose CONSCIOUSLY and well the moments when you do think CLEARLY about the tricky, dissatisfying stuff. Go in when you’ve been focused on the good stuff, so you feel clear and capable and optimistic about things moving forward. Then you’re just sitting down with something to tend in your beautiful life, even if it’s not your favorite thing. You’re simply showing up for yourself when it’s time to pay bills or look something up or go to the appointment or add up numbers or do just one next thing that seems aligned with a sense of possibility. You aim roughly in the right direction and trust your capacity to course-correct. Coming in relaxed and happy and open to inspiration and guidance, you no longer approach this previously problematic category as some impossible puzzle to solve, or an ugly, tangled mess that no comb could ever smooth out, or even something that, in your case, at least, is just beyond hopeless. It matters that categories don’t matter because you can just focus more generally on all you love in life, and then create more of what you love in every single aspect of this one life. See how that works? Are you doing it already sometimes? (Please do bother to take in where you’ve already experienced this! Know that you know this already!) Would you like to do it more and better? I’ve found it to be a marvelous thing for a grand experiment, a worthwhile project, an enjoyable bit of play in stirring up more of what you love. Love & blessings, Jaya Further reading, anyone? I’ve written before about the wisdom & power of getting off the topic. Here’s more on being a match to the problem, not the solution. And here are some anti-rumination bits to check out:
There’s a miraculous little search bar on my website! I’ve also written about course-correcting, feeling good or just feeling better, running grand experiments, following your (very own & unique) guidance system, teaching yourself from what you’ve cleaned up before, and … a whole bunch of stuff to support you in well-being and thriving.
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a simple tool for quick course-correction  Photo of ballet dancers in arabesque on pointe from Daniel Neuhaus on Unsplash Want an even quicker read? Go through and just read the bold. That tells the whole story. Pivoting is both a simple concept and a simple tool. It’s not even a process. It’s a quick mental adjustment you make and keep making to go from the unwanted to the wanted. Use it while in motion or being still. Use it while working, walking, cooking--whenever you’re capable of having a thought and being aware of that thought. Use it while waking or dropping off to sleep. Anytime, just for a moment. Yep, this is also from Abraham-Hicks. Pivoting has 3 steps. 1) You notice something that’s not to your liking. 2) You consider what WANTED thing corresponds to this UNWANTED thing. 3) You shift your focus to the WANTED. Examples: 1) You notice you’ve been getting sloppy with punctuality again. 2) You make a mental note that you prefer being a little early to be ready on time. 3) You feel great about that decision (instead of bad about the lapse) and you head out (or to the computer) early for the next appointment. 1) You notice you’re having an irritation response. 2) You pivot toward soothing what bothers you and toward accepting what is, as it is, here and now. 3) Right now, you breathe, relax the muscles that tensed up, tell yourself it’s really okay. 1) You notice you’ve been doing too much and things feel glutted. 2) You pivot toward doing less, finding pauses, making spaces. 3) You tell the story of increasing spaciousness and do every little thing you see to promote that—tidy up this corner of the cabinet, say no just to something between you & you (that shopping trip can actually wait, and today I stay home); say no to an invitation even if it has appeal—because it’s more appealing to do less right now. Notice from the above examples that what brings the UNWANTED into focus, and thus the call to PIVOT, is simply that SOMETHING FEELS BAD. When you become quickly responsive to the signals that something feels bad (these signals come from your own system—body, heart, head), then you pause with what you’re noticing and … PIVOT. What’s so radical—or more to the point, HELPFUL--about this? I recently heard this gem (during an Abraham Now program): “You can’t get around how you feel when you’re amplifying how you feel with sentences.” Ever notice you put A LOT of language—even just words in thought, not necessarily spoken—to what you feel? Noticing you’re exhausted, you declare exhausted. You review what’s been exhausting in your life. You give lots of weight to what you can’t control that exhausts you (so now you’re a victim of and stuck in exhausting circumstances). You put much focus on how bad it feels in your body. In short, you tell the story of EXHAUSTED. So when you have this PIVOT concept in view, noticing exhaustion, you pivot. You tell the story of rest and rejuvenation instead. And then it’s not so hard to get around how you feel. Your (chosen) focus is now on rest and rejuvenation, you choose your inner and outer narratives accordingly, and you also make choices accordingly.  Photo of owl pivoting head & gaze from Getty Images on Unsplash. And that’s how you apply it as you go. So let’s go over those 3 ways to apply the pivot one more time: 1) You focus on whatever you’re pivoting toward (e.g., rest & rejuvenation). 2) You choose your inner and outer narratives accordingly. 3) You make ongoing choices to keep heading that way. As always, it helps to BRING IT TO NOW. Just right now, I can let go of something and go to bed earlier. Now, I can slow down a bit and do an easier version of the task. Right now, I can pause for 15 minutes and meditate or lie down and rest. You could make pivoting a way of life! You could swiftly learn to shift …
Have you ever had some of the most satisfying change come from some simply concept you simply applied? I invite you to try that out with PIVOTING. Love & blessings, Jaya  Photo of a water droplet reflecting the sky & earth around it, in reverse, from Louis Maniquet on Unsplash It’s American Thanksgiving time again, when people in the U.S. are urged from all directions to be grateful. And the gratitude craze isn’t all-American: especially in spiritual circles, it covers the globe. I’m not (entirely) against gratitude, but I have written before about the potentially more solid and powerful aspect of appreciation, as compared to gratitude (which may have stickier components, like that of needing to put out I’m-so-grateful to deserve good things coming your way). In this writing, I’d like to explore the POWER of appreciation in your process of creating your life. As you look around you and observe your life from eagle view, or take in this one moment, appreciation is always available. It’s an option. It’s a choice. It’s worth reaching for, because what you appreciate really does nourish your total well-being. It feels good to appreciate. You feel good about what you behold when you appreciate it. You set yourself up for feeling more goodness, and hope expands, and your sense that your life is worth showing up for expands. So then your sense of can-do expands. Your ability to take the next step with ease expands. With appreciation in the fore, you may find yourself more energized and clear in creating your life. Everything expands as you give it your appreciation. It gets better and feels nicer and turns its best face your way. So …
That’s a good one to stop on (the list could go on and on, obviously). It’s a good one because we’re BOTHERED by the weather these days. It can disturb us. But note that anything else on the list can go off-kilter! Things (people, places) go wrong or get wacky all the time. It’s all in progress and impermanent, either breaking down or growing & improving. So something not wanted or not to your liking can be found in most anything most anytime. These somethings can, could, and do easily make you feel bad, if you let them. They stir up dissatisfaction (and maybe a sense that you're not okay, and then maybe a fear you’ll never be okay). … Think in terms of where you put your FOCUS. In any life, any scene, any moment, there’s wanted and unwanted. (That’s Abraham-Hicks language again.) There’s always stuff to appreciate with every fiber of your being, and stuff to bellyache about. Which will you focus on? It’s up to you what you animate and fuel and expand with speech and thought and strong emotion. When you offer & feel appreciation (especially with every fiber of your being), you energize your own being and your very sense of well-being. You also declare and establish that this stuff you’re appreciating is what most matters to you, what’s predominant for you. And that predisposes you to notice more of it, to make much of it, to lean into all that you appreciate that’s right here, already in place in this imperfect moment & reality. Thus, you expand and you create more of what’s wanted. By choosing appreciation, you consciously create your life, the life you want. Call it self-fulfilling prophecy, call it Law of Attraction, call it basic common sense: there it is any way you slice it. Love & blessings, Jaya  Sometimes, in the realm of the political, insanity seems to pour freely, brim over the top, spew from all quarters in all directions.Then how do you hold to the spiritual, to love, to trusting that your vote for goodness, tolerance, and peace actually counts, that enough people are out there stirring up that brand of consciousness that we could override fear and actually turn the tables? How do you maintain and cultivate sanity in times like these—by which I mean, NOW? Tell the truth as best you understand it. Talk. Speak what matters. Write, blog, tweet what matters. This week, I read about Donald Trump tweeting these words: “26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military—only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?” Don Omar tweeted his simple, searing response: “For men not to rape women. Maybe that.” Discuss. Invite intelligent people to talk with you and in groups. Talk and keep talking. Say smart things, notice the smart things other people say. Where idiocy seems to sometimes reign, keep voting for intelligent, thoughtful discourse. Admit what you don't know. Intelligence does not and cannot require absolute knowing. Acknowledge the gray areas. Concede that news sources, studies, and facts may be unreliable at best. That doesn't mean no clarity is possible anywhere. Expand the discussion and locate the nuances, even when no clear answers or solutions result. Fascist, fundamentalist, and any flavor of us-them rhetoric tends to be black-and-white. Cultivate a consciousness of good news amidst the craziness. Consider and discuss how huge it is, actually, that someone as radical-left as Bernie got as far as he did, and how, culturally, we progress as a whole society when a prominent radical is taken seriously at the national level of politics. (This is what's happening with Trump, too, on the other polarity, and that may be why Bernie's being phased out of the presidential running could portend the same for the Orange Blob.) Consider and discuss how far Hilary's gotten, a point no woman reached until 2016. And acknowledge that it makes sense she's the witch of the hour, but we can't simply allow the press and certain interest groups to cast such a shadow on her that the malevolence-meets-incompetence force that is Trump would be considered a better candidate while she's actually truly qualified for the job.) Act. Do small things. Do large things. Brainstorm with others about what can be done. Join groups doing things. Register people to vote and drive them to the polls when November rolls around. Volunteer with Moveon.org or some other organization you like that organizes such things. I once heard someone ask Byron Katie if loving what is means you shouldn't get involved when something bad seems to be happening. Her response was that love takes action, and that the clearer you are (her inquiry process is about questioning thoughts that keep you from peace, hence from your clarity), the more action you're likely to take. I've found this to be true, as I used to be frozen with depression and horror over the state of the world, and I now don't believe it should be otherwise—this is what is, what we've got as far as we've gotten to so far—but I understand something else is possible, and wherever I can vote (with speech, actions, and literal voting) for what looks like closer-to-love to me, I'm casting my vote. Read good reads. Get your news from sources that aren't overly conventional or depressing, that encourage thought, that flip things around. I especially appreciate DailyKos.com, which compiles daily digests of good leftist stuff that goes beyond all-bad-news to include incisive thinking, humor (um, not necessarily love-based, but it's so good to laugh—and laughter's a good antidote to fear), and some reports of brilliant activism and people of all walks of life leading the way to change. Don't get news at bedtime. Just don't. Bad idea. Go to sleep thinking good thoughts, using sleep as the great reset button that it is. Tell yourself, and dare to believe it, Tomorrow all things new, all things possible. Face your fear but don't focus on it, don't expand it, and don't make it the point of departure for or endpoint of your discussions; don't make fear the motivation for your actions. Don't focus your discussions on what's scary and predict terrible outcomes. When fear grabs you, breathe into it, and stay with it awhile instead of shoving it down. But don't just run off at the mouth about how valid it is to be in full-blown terror. (You'll find plenty who'll agree with you, and that will be no comfort.) Vote for what you want before election time by aiming discussion (and thought) toward what's possible, what could work, what could foster and maintain our good relations with other countries, what could benefit more of the people who inhabit this nation across a very real spectrum of diversity. Spend time visualizing positive occurrences and outcomes for the nation and the world. New-Age bullshit? Nope. You're going to be less clear, less active, less inspired to speak and act if you're drenched in fear and negativity and cultivate a bleak vision for how it'll all come out. Even if you're not sure it's valid, just experiment with soothing yourself and imagining the best of happenings and outcomes. If it makes you feel better on any level, it's a worthy experiment. Remember when you didn't think the nation was ready for a Black president? Remember when it seemed impossible to keep Obama in office for two terms? We've basically had a decade of something seriously radical for our country, and it was a long time coming. Did you get jaded and forget that? Did you get too focused on very real problems we still have and lose sight of the wonder? For the first decade in history, Black children have a very high ceiling for what they can aspire to, a very different sense of what's possible for them personally and as a people. Not only have they had Black role models in the highest place, but so have my white kids—and I'm in awe of this fact, and so appreciative of this reality. So what else is possible? Dare to imagine into that, and vote for it, not only at official voting time in the fall, but through your thoughts, language, choices, and actions, small and large. Love & blessings, Jaya |
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