The following testimonial came in on the cusp of the new year.
Jaya, I've done quite a bit of reflection over the last couple of days, on my year past, and wanted to share some things with you:
I would not be starting this new job without having begun working with you—within our first session I realized how much I was getting in my own way.
I would not have asked a relative for a loan to help with housing. But I stopped telling myself things that got in the way, and instead saw my options as resources and doors to knock on. I got a yes! We found a place and are moving in the spring.
I went on a 48-hour retreat with my partner that I called because I wanted a space to have uninterrupted conversations about all the broken parts of our relationship. But after listening to the Abraham audio you sent (multiple times) and rereading my reflections on my work with you, I no longer felt that we have much "broken" but rather just things I wanted to talk about with my partner. I was able to phrase things in terms of my own feelings, instead of asking another human being to do or be something different. I think, if I hadn't been working with you, I could have been verbally violent in this interaction and I would have come out feeling sad and exhausted (and probably with no outcomes I thought I wanted).
All of this feels huge. Thank you for what you've brought to my life in 2018, and I look forward to more in 2019. — US East-Coast client
Let me speak to you as if you were going to coach with me.
As a coach, my aim is to support you to identify and achieve more of what you most want, come closer to operating in a way that feels healthy and good to you, and gain above all a stronger sense of these three things: 1) that life is only supporting your healing and evolution; 2) that you’re becoming who you want to be by way of a valid and beautiful journey, even when it feels like you’re stuck or going backward; and 3) that you have your own guidance system that you can come closer to and respond to in more subtle and consistent ways in order to function optimally.
In this process, we will meet your resistance; your personality tendencies that serve you as well as those that don’t; your thoughts and beliefs that take you where you want to go as well as those that pull you in wrong directions; your emotions, all of which are meant to bring in information and fuel, and some of which you may not be allowing to do that (often because you judge them or fail to give sufficient import to what they’re seeking to illuminate); your deep desires for living in alignment with what fulfills you and contributes to the good of all concerned—and how to connect to and hold the pure impulse there; and more.
I consider it a privilege to be invited into your process. I offer clear witnessing and mirroring to support your self-awareness and clarity. I connect authentically and truthfully with my clients and will seek to consistently communicate with you with genuine respect. I intend not only to hold you in the highest regard, but also to hold myself that way in order to meet you in a high playing field—which also contains a good bit of humility and humor.
I provide concepts, tools, and processes to help you move with the greatest possible ease toward your intentions (inquiry, the Enneagram, focus wheels, and EFT are four examples). I make no claim to enlightenment or perfection or even being close to such things; indeed, I aspire to neither. I do live in clear and healthy ways and continue to do my own personal-growth/spiritual work in order to be as clear and available as possible to support your work. There is nothing I will ask you to look at in yourself that I haven’t looked at in myself, no process I will invite you to experiment with that I haven’t done for myself.
My coaching is deeply informed by intuition. I have a strong sense of being guided as I work and of channeling ideas that may or may not have already come to me or through me. I follow what you bring in and ask for; pay close attention to the language you use to describe yourself, others, and the realities you’re in or are seeking to create; and go with whatever impulses come up about what might support you, both during and between sessions. As with everything in life, I simply proceed along the best path I see and course-correct along the way as more reveals itself. I welcome your thoughts at any time about how I might be more on-point in serving you.
I love my work and come to it with all my heart and presence. Both in sessions and out, I have profound moments of insight or illumination as I serve my clients, as well as huge heart openings. I am often moved to tears by the poignancy of the human experience and the profound reality of transformation and healing, the amazing becoming that each person is capable of and can fully step into; I feel great love, compassion, and appreciation for the specific beings I get to watch and assist in all of this.
Trust figures in all of my work with any client coming to me with any intention. I will support you to trust yourself and your own guidance system, including your intuition and your emotional feedback system. I will also support you to trust the positive aspects of your thought processes and to learn to better notice when you’re interpreting, to better see which thoughts to question and how to find greater clarity without believing you need to figure it all out.
I will support you to trust all of life, to show up for what’s actually happening, and to play with the possibility that setbacks and disappointments and even so-called failures can all be used to move forward on a path of healing and evolution, ever proceeding toward your highest good and the good of all concerned.
I will support you to trust others in a wholehearted, nonjudgmental, boundaried way, which never means investing trust where someone has proven to be untrustworthy or trusting another at the expense of self—or through any form of self-abandonment or of abdicating responsibility for your own well-being.
On that note, I will support you to ferret out and clear away any victim mentality you still hold, to locate where you have choice, and to keep choosing what you’ve chosen (get 100 percent behind your choices) or to choose again. You’re trusting neither life nor yourself nor being in clear relationship with others when you feel like a victim; nor can you be in inspired receptivity/creative opening to new visions or solutions or feel or express your most beautiful, powerful self.
I invite you to communicate clearly about whatever comes up for you during our work together, especially if something throws you off or creates stress of any kind. Let’s bring all of it to the process so that whatever passes between us contributes to our successful collaboration and your own growth process. It’s my strong belief and ongoing experience that anything that happens to you while we’re coaching together (anywhere in your life, including between us) serves our work by illuminating important aspects of your belief system and how you operate, thus allowing you to see yourself clearly and choose beliefs and directions that better align with your intentions. Life seems to stir up obviously relevant or ostensibly unrelated events during the coaching process that are best not to treat as pesky digressions. I’ve found that the stuff of the moment never fails to bring to light just what we need to see in order to facilitate your movement toward fulfilling your intentions.
Jaya, one of the reasons your coaching practice draws me in is that I can do it without needing to develop some esoteric skill or dig back into unconscious or painful memories. I love that it instead functions in the present. I feel that this last month and a half of working with you has been an incredible time for me to control my thoughts and think differently about my emotions. I can truly say that I have had breakthroughs that have made me more joyous, trusting, understanding, and vibrant. — 2019, US West-Coast client (who first connected to my work was through a workshop)
“If, right now, you step into your healing; if, in this moment, you're consciously course-correcting out of what you caught yourself in and toward what better matches your intention—then, right now … the transformation is underway. … And that's what scooching is all about.” Click on book image below for more information. Click here to look inside or purchase on Amazon. Both paperback and e-book versions are available.
Why do I keep pointing people to Kelli Younglove's online study of Boundaries? Not because I get a cut of the proceeds. Because everyone who signs up for it on my recommendation comes back around to thank me profusely and tell me how thrilled they are, how deep they're going with it, how much clarity and freedom they're gaining from engagement with her material. Kelli is a dear friend and colleague whose work I admire and benefit from richly. More important, the topic of boundaries comes up constantly in my work, and I find there's not enough clear and good information out there yet. If you're drawn, check it out.