JAYA the TRUST COACH
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diamonds & trust nuggets

11 EASY MICROADJUSTMENTS

6/10/2024

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that will carry you toward thriving
PicturePhoto of an egret gently shifting in flight from Bob Brewer on Unsplash


​For the quick version, scan the 11 points and drop in with the one or ones that calls to you. This stuff has the potential to make your life feel way better.)


As I move along in my journey, I become an ever greater fan of whatever gets you (and me!) down the road most effortlessly. I’m all about rewriting the old scripts about how hard you have to work to get to where you want to go, how nothing worth having doesn’t entail blood, sweat, and tears to get there, blah-blah-blabetty-hard-work-blah.

So here, I offer you 11 CRAZY-EASY WAYS to make a quick shift right here & now as you go along your way. Super-simple things to keep you moving with the greatest ease (and kindness!). Tiny ways to adjust or course-correct that cost you little—beyond keeping them in view and simply reaching for them as a practice.

If this idea of microshifts is hard to keep in view (which will only mean you need practice to recalibrate to a more you-friendly way of being), why not print out the 11 tactics that follow?

  1. Simply notice that what you’re doing (thinking, speaking) right now doesn’t feel good! Take note. LET IN that information instead of plowing through it. Breathe a moment as you notice. This feels bad. This is worth my noticing. (Note that you were taught to plow through, not value feeling bad as part of what’s meant to guide you toward what feels better.)
  2. Interrupt what feels bad. (This can mean, stop talking, put it down, take a break, leave …) Abraham-Hicks says that you have to VALUE feeling good—value it enough to keep interrupting feeling bad. That just makes simple, solid sense to me. Does it to you? How much do you value feeling good? How much do you expect to feel good? How much do you intend to feel good? How often do you interrupt what feels bad? I invite you to increase that. (It would make a valid & worthwhile experiment!)
  3. Reach for what feels better: something to ease, nourish, or hydrate the body; new thoughts or some activity that would soothe or elevate emotion; better-feeling thoughts.
  4. Notice when you’re talking about what you DON’T want. Switch to talking about what you DO want. (That’s so simple—and maybe the most important & powerful thing on this list in terms of creating the life you want.)
  5. Notice & interrupt your fixation on what isn’t to your liking. Even if you’re really really right about how things should be. Shift your focus to (write down in list form, list to yourself out loud or mentally, say to other sentient beings around you) what’s going right. What’s good or good enough. What’s working, what’s here to support you & get you through the moment. That shift in fixation (as an ongoing practice, and just RIGHT NOW) supports living in appreciation and fosters a greater sense of well-being.
  6. Laugh more. Be amused by life and the characters in it. Shift annoyance at someone to enjoying how well they play this caricature of themselves. Say funny things. Find people to play with you in fun repartee. If you need to, watch or listen to things that make you laugh. Ask a child to tell you a joke (their mirth could make you laugh even if the joke’s not that funny!) Find the humorous spin on what’s happening now. (Who is it you want to have around when things get hard and absurd? Those complaining & pointing out all that’s wrong? Or those making light of it and finding fun in the delay, the rerouting, the absurdly piss-poor customer service?)
  7. Let go of what you’re insisting on if insisting feels bad. This is where you may get sucked into the illusion that you’ll feel better if … someone else acknowledges something, gets it, offers validation, apologizes, tells you you’re right—all the things you may well deserve and just may not get. So … let go, just for now. It’s ultimately an illusion that you must have these things to feel good. That puts you at someone else’s mercy, or at the mercy of events & circumstances beyond your control. You control how you feel, so let go of the thing you want to hold on to & insist upon that’s making you feel bad. (THAT’S what’s making you feel bad, not the outer stuff people & life are & aren’t doing.) For now, just let it be okay to let go. If some greater thing is needed later for a relationship or system to function better, you can have the conversations or take the actions toward change—later. Right now, just let go. Trust it’s okay. For now, it’s really okay, it’s really better, to let go.
  8. Notice harsh or unkind self-talk—including subtle, mental, even pre-verbal instances of that--and speak again. Immediately. If you ask yourself, for example, what the fuck is wrong with you, pause. Let that feel jarring, not normal. Maybe say, Whoa, what’s this? Then speak again: There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. You’re fine. You’re doing great enough. What is it that this moment is asking for? You don’t need to evaluate what’s wrong with you. You just need to head toward what feels good [better, kind, aligned, ethical, loving, wise]. Always give yourself WAY MORE positive messages to counter the negative. Overwhelm the habitual old messages with a torrent of kinder, truer, more positive, soothing, empowering messages.
  9. When something tugs at you, respond at once—even to just take a look if you don’t feel ready to act. What’s asking for your attention? What is your guidance system inviting you to move away from, step into, sit down with? What’s feeling bad now that felt good before (the show viewing, the game, even the cleaning or ordering or working)? Respond to those tugs because they’ll get you where you need to go. They’ll support you to notice & shift faster when things feel bad.
  10. Right now, reach for your point of least resistance, especially when you’re stuck, stubbornly not budging, feeling contracted, calling yourself lazy, pushing against something (etc, etc). Just find an easy point of entry to just do one thing, to just begin it or move it forward a bit, the one next bit. What’s the easiest thing you can do toward the dreaded task? You can show up better if you shift in the moment out of contemplating (and resisting) the whole task and into considering just the one easiest next thing. Place your foot in the most reachable spot that points roughly in the right direction.
  11. Feeling discouraged or bad about yourself or how you’re doing? Go back and look at how far you’ve come. Catalogue your accomplishments and refuse to dilute them by comparing them to those of others or by adding limiting qualifiers (e.g., For such a late bloomer, I did finally do this). Celebrate your small & any-sized triumphs more along the way. Gauge the evolution. You’re growing & evolving, so it’s unfair to yourself and to your ongoing growth trajectory to focus on what you haven’t done or aren’t seemingly nailing right this moment.
Picture
Photo of mirthful child from Flávia Gava on Unsplash

​Bring these things to the day-to-day
—these and whatever comes to you in the now-moment you need something. What could help you respond in the moment with some small shift to make things feel better & easier? What you want is within reach!
​
With this mentality of easy microadjustments in place, you can play with & master shifting quickly in any number of ways toward what feels & works better.
What if you committed to making this journey you’re on feel better much more often (right now, and now, and now again)? Whatever is or isn’t happening, whatever you can or can’t do in the ideal here & now, you can keep yourself moving along in kinder, more relaxed, easier ways.

Love & blessings, Jaya
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