FIND THE FEELING PLACE

THEN DO AND GET MORE OF WHAT YOU LOVE

Photo from below of kids looking down together with awe & wonder from Getty Images on Unsplash.

I was wondering what I wanted to do next in the group work I’ve been loving so much. It’s so deeply fulfilling to me on so many levels. So I sat down with pen & paper to find what Abraham-Hicks calls the feeling place.

That’s it. That’s all I was seeking to locate. What does this thing I love feel like? (Below, I’ll flag for you what I did NOT begin with—things we typically begin with that keep us stuck.)

As with everything I offer you, focus on what this calls up for you about you, even though I’m offering an illustration about me! I invite you to let it remind you of similar or even different things that stir for you when you know you’re right in there doing what you love in the most satisfying way.

FEELS LIKE …
Feels like I’m in great company—people opted in, dropped in, present, open, engaged
Feels like all present are curious, fascinated, excited, eager
Feels like recognition & connection
Feels like fun, like being in the sandbox, like playing in the magic together
Feels like being in love, happy to see every face and all the shifting expressions
Feels like wonder, wow, delight
Feels like goosebumps, no way, truth better than fiction
Feels like I’m learning and teaching at the same time, evolving with my clients
Feels like growth, expansion, evolution—mine, theirs, shared
Feels like coaching in the dynamic now, responding in the moment to what arises in the moment
Feels like being in my zone of genius, at ease, in flow
Feels like surety, like knowing what to do or say next
Feels like absorption, like there’s nowhere else I’d rather be
Feels like wonderful storytelling from different voices
Feels real, feels authentic, feels like come-as-you-are
Feels like Abraham’s phrase tuned in, tapped in, turned on

After I wrote all that out, I was fully connected to those feelings, that feeling place, and ready for the one next thing to do toward what I want to create.

Next, I’ll put this process to finding or even appreciating your person for those focused in the dating & relationship sector.

Photo of two cats snuggling on couch from Sigmund on Unsplash. CLICK ON PIC FOR DATING RESOURCES.

You know when it feels really right and just works with someone? Even for a while, at times, in the beginning, or the closest you’ve gotten to yet? Or can you imagine what you’re pretty sure it would feel like based on what you’ve learned about what is NOT IT, what you know you don’t want?

Feels easy, feels natural, feels unforced
Feels spontaneous, unrehearsed, experienced fresh in the moment
Feels like recognition, feels like knowing & being known
Feels like acceptance, feels spacious, feels welcoming
Feels relaxed, feels calm, feels like comfort
Feels like letting down, letting go, letting be
Feels fun, feels like easy laughter, like hard laughter, like shared secret smiles
Feels exciting, animating, activating
Feels sparky, feels mutual, feels like a volley of good energy, banter, inspired ideas
Feels chosen, feels wanted, feels right
Feels like adoring, appreciating, cherishing
Feels like being adored, appreciated, cherished
Feels like good attention, good mirroring, being seen, being appreciated
Feels like mutual admiration
Feels like learning, growing, opting in to forays out of the comfort zone
Feels like adventure, feels like delight, wonder, awe
Feels simple, easy, intuitive, organic, obvious
Feels satisfying, feels good, feels like OF COURSE

Are you getting it? It’s so wonderfully easy and more helpful than you might think to get you moving in the direction you’d like to go—especially when a lot feels unclear and unformed. If you took in the above feeling statements at all, you probably started to touch into or even really got hold of the feeling place.

Photo of squirrel peaking around tree trunk from Hasse Lossius on Unsplash.

This is not where most human beings are taught to begin, so it’s not where we habitually begin—or even get to at all. In fact, we can get stuck early on and shut down possibilities because we begin in all the wrong places:

• How will I do this?
• How will I get there?
• What will I call it?
• Do I need training?
• Can I do it without [social media] [a dating app] [a sudio] [an investor]?
• What things in my history make me likely to falter or fail?
• Where will the resources come from?
• What do I need to figure out to make this work?
• What do I need to do (do do do do do do)?
• What will people think of this?
• Will anyone value this?

Also, beware of old labels that represent things you make identity of (conditions, diagnoses, history, tendencies) that in no way represent WHO YOU ARE:

• I have so much impostor syndrome
• This is making my ADHD kick in big time
• I’m no good at [this whole thing] [this part that I think I must be good at for this to work]
• This has never worked for me before
• My anxiety is activated every time I think about this
• I’m a [Nine] so of course I’m procrastinating

About that last one, do fill in your own Enneagram type, if you’re aware of that construct, and notice how you chalk certain behaviors and mindsets up to that (or any other construct you relate with). Instead, use what you know about your tendencies to recognize and pivot from that autopilot way of seeing & approaching things—which is not WHO YOU ARE and in no way limits what you’re capable of or what you get to experience next.

Let’s give a quick nod to WHO DO I THINK I AM? Pointless question whose job is just self-attack. Either answer the question to actually locate who you think you are to alleviate a sense that you have wrong ideas about your journey, wants, preferences, skills, talents; or move away from that question entirely. It’s ridiculously unkind.

Notice that nothing in the above bulleted list is an actual concrete, inexorable, intractable aspect of anyone’s identity or even reality, however much they accurately know about themselves, their experiences, or their current conditions.

Anything you notice that’s in your way is something to respond to consciously: you can question it (as with The Work of Byron Katie or my short inquiry process); use it to pivot from unwanted to wanted; or respond to with some process to bring forth other and stronger truths that actually align with what you want and support you to head that way (and believe you can do it and you get to have it!). (See the marble game or a focus wheel, both from Abraham-Hicks.) Or book a session with Jaya!

One truly effective and crazy-simple process is to FIND THE FEELING PLACE. And do it in witing. It’s more effective that way. Second-best is saying it out loud.

Love & blessings, Jaya