"The way that you challenge people’s language and words and thinking is unique in that you gracefully call them out on their victimhood, whining, preconceived notions, etc., and turn it around all the while remaining positive and allowing the person to feel safe. You really helped me to be able to challenge myself on my own after going through it enough with you."
— Ithaca client, 2018
You are warm, professional, knowledgeable, firm when needed (which is invaluable!), honest and direct. I have LOVED working with you and I think that the world is a better place because you are in it!
— Brooklyn client
My name is Jayalalita—Jaya for obvious reasons. My coaching happens in person, by phone, or by Skype out of Ithaca, New York, with people in any location.
I consider it a privilege to be invited into your process. I offer presence, witnessing, and mirroring to support your self-awareness and clarity. I connect authentically and truthfully with my clients and will seek to consistently communicate with you with genuine respect. I intend not only to hold you in the highest regard, but also to hold myself that way in order to meet you in a high playing field—which also contains a good bit of humility and humor.
As a coach, I provide concepts, tools, and processes to help you move with the greatest possible ease toward your intentions. (Inquiry, the Enneagram, focus wheels, and EFT are four examples.) I make no claim to enlightenment or perfection or even being close to such things; indeed, I aspire to neither. I do live in clear and healthy ways and continue to do my own personal-growth work in order to be as clear and available as possible when I sit with you to support your work.
My coaching is deeply informed by intuition. I have a strong sense of being guided as I work and of channeling ideas that may or may not have already come to me or through me. I follow what you bring in and ask for; pay close attention to the language you use to describe yourself, others, and the realities you’re in or are seeking to create; and go with whatever impulses come up during sessions, in our communications between sessions, and in random moments when something pops in. As with everything in life, I simply proceed along the best path I see and course-correct along the way as more reveals itself. I welcome your thoughts at any time about how I might be more on-point in serving you. I love my work and come to it with all my heart and presence. Both in sessions and out, I have profound moments of insight or illumination as I serve my clients, as well as huge heart openings.
Curious about coaching?
Here's the current protocol for getting a consultation.
Marketing experts and trainers of coaches tell them to pick a niche and stick with that — just coach people in one thing. Well, that's actually what I do, and this one thing happens to permeate every realm of life.
Trust figures in all of my work with any human being coming to me with any intention. I will support you to trust yourself and your own guidance system, including your intuition and your emotional feedback system. I will also support you to trust the positive aspects of your thought processes and to learn to better notice when you’re interpreting, to better see which thoughts to question and how to find greater clarity without believing you need to figure it all out.
I will support you to trust all of life, to show up for what’s actually happening, and to play with the possibility that setbacks and disappointments and even so-called failures can all be used to move forward on a path of healing and evolution, ever proceeding toward your highest good and the good of all concerned.
I will support you to trust others in a wholehearted, nonjudgmental, boundaried way, which never means investing trust where someone has proven to be untrustworthy or trusting another at the expense of self—or through any form of self-abandonment or of abdicating responsibility for your own well-being. On that note, I will support you to ferret out and clear away any victim mentality you still hold, to locate where you have choice, and to keep choosing what you’ve chosen (get 100 percent behind your choices) or to choose again. You’re trusting neither life nor yourself when you feel like a victim, nor can you be in inspired receptivity/creative opening to new visions or solutions or feel or express your most beautiful, powerful self.
As your coach,
I love working with all human beings who for any reason or in any way want to feel more aligned. Alignment could look like:
"Jaya, the 5 months I have worked with you have been like riding the express train to my dreams. I love that all of the answers have come from within me, have resonated with the truth that is deep in my core, and you are like the most skilled, compassionate, and wise interpreter—leading me gently toward my truth, pointing out important signs along the way, re-framing perceived obstacles, and supporting me in not getting lost in the jungle of my busy mind.
"Your full-bodied listening and wise insights are a balm to my anxious heart, and the quickness & ease with which I have breezed through old fears and obstacles has been so amazing and freeing. I have gone from having a secret, long-standing dream to making it a reality in the last month and a half. You are the catalyzing variable to my success!"
— Breana Cross, Oregon
Along with the words above, Breana sent me the growth chart below. I was so moved and amused, I had to include it here:
"What makes coaching such a valuable experience for me (as opposed to therapy—even with a very good therapist) is that I get to hear a little about you. You are not some lofty PhD who remains distanced from me (in the name of professionalism) so that I always wonder who they are, what similar experience, if any, they might have had, or what are they really thinking when they talk. You're a real person who really did what I am trying to do. That's pretty inspiring."
— Ithaca client
Want more about my personal story?
"My Adventures in Inquiry and Trust"
Here's a 13-minute audio that tells how I healed my years-long insomnia and turned it into an online class that supports people to get their sleep back by letting it go. There's no current date for the next offering of Give It a Rest.
You can also learn more about me and what happens between me and my clients in my book, Scooch!: Edging into a Friendly Universe. available as an e-book or paperback.
(Click here to look inside on Amazon.)
My joyful self-outing statement: I am a lesbian with a bisexual history and welcome all human beings of any gender identity or sexual orientation to my practice. I've had the privilege of coaching a few women coming out later in life and working to extricate themselves from a straight lifestyle and identity, and I love getting to do that work. I've coached queer and straight people of all kinds (various ages, races, etc.) and continue to derive great pleasure and satisfaction from the diversity of my practice.
Are you recovering from some form of religious indoctrination? I've also been in the throes of fundamentalist Christianity (a long time ago) and love to assist people to undo any vestiges of old belief systems that still affect their ideas about right or wrong, or their worthiness, or whether they live in a punitive Universe, or what they do or don't get to be, do, or have. I also help them to connect to their spirituality where they're still shutting it down out of fear it will impose external requirements on them as the old rejected system did (not so—the real deal comes from inside). This, too, is an area where I consider it a true privilege to bring my work.
For the curious & hopeful, I offer a free
30-minute exploration session
by phone or Skype or in person.
Contact me here or write firstname.lastname@example.org
or call (607) 339-9714.
"Thank you for showing myself to me. Your approach is gentle, self-honoring, and baldly honest all at once. I deeply appreciate your respect and non-judgment of any and all topics in our conversations. It can't be overstated how much value your honest, fearless observation brings to your coaching. It freed me to do the same while talking with you. This has been a liberating, grounding, and fundamentally empowering experience."
— Connecticut client
"In the past, I've experienced many 'therapeutic' sessions and processes, but no one has cut to the the core like you have, and I like that you do not coddle me, you do not pacify me: you challenge and energize me. I am so thankful that our paths have crossed, because you (okay, you are a bit intimidating at first) have awakened me."
— Ithaca client
"Jaya, you say I move forward so fearlessly after our sessions. That really is how it feels, like the way just opens up and I can freely ZOOM ahead."
— North Carolina client
"My heart is full of gratitude for your clear and consistent coaching. I have never felt so completely 'at the helm' of my life as I do tonight. As if I know, at my very center, that all is possible ... and that all is so good. All of it. I feel washed clean—of unnecessary shame, of the mental rhetoric, but more than that, of my very story and its ability to bind me. Jaya, you have this uncanny ability to reflect back to me my smoke and mirrors. And then I can see my life (and everything else!) in a whole new way.
"I never realized just how long I had been spinning my wheels in the same old mind-cycles! But sitting down with you, I know you are always going to cut right to the marrow of it. You help me to unwrap the hidden gifts that my life hurdles present.
"Jaya, you coached me through something so painful, but so triumphant today. You compassionately stood beside me and midwifed me through one of my darkest moments. And then, with your usual bright smile and warm laugh, you sent me back into my life with a trusting, joyful and wide-open heart again."
— Ithaca client
"I am grateful to receive your blessings. They feel nourishing, allowing me to safely unfold and find my potential. It is helpful to see my goodness through someone else's eyes while still gazing into a mirror discovering my own reflections."
— Pennsylvania client