use all 3 centers of intelligence to find your relaxed & open way of being & seeing & DECIDING I want to invite you out of that furrowed-brow, overthinking thing and point you to what could feel & work better. You’ll need a willingness to trust yourself more, and also to trust life. What if you began by committing to EASE around any decision you need to make? Ease in body, heart, and head—your three centers of intelligence. Each lets you know whether you’re on- or off-track for good decision making, and so … whether to LEAVE IT ALONE right now or jump in & run with it—or even dreamily push the pieces around. Let’s walk together through all three centers. Body: LOOK AWAY FROM THE TOPIC when you’re …
In those moments, don’t think about it at all, never mind try to move the decision forward. Seriously. Literally walk away if you need to, and go make your body feel better. Start with a drink of clean water. It’s a great time to come back to the topic when you’re …
Now go! Go ahead & come close to this thing you’re considering. See what wants to be dreamed up, learned, discovered, invented, and maybe fully decided! Heart: DON’T EVEN GO NEAR THE TOPIC, never mind try to make the decision, when you’re …
In your bad feeling states, shift your physical & mental gaze toward what makes you feel better. In fact, just go take care of your heart. Don’t analyze or think about your feelings. Breathe them, soften them, soothe them, carry them around kindly. Take your feelings with you as you go back to the body and do something that will move your limbs & energies and get the blood & breath flowing again. When do you go back into the stuff of your decision? When you feel
All or any of this means you’re ready to dream into your vision again or dive back into the specifics & details of what needs to be known so that the decision can come to you without strain & forcing, never mind agonizing. Head: Screech decision making to a halt when you’re
I mean it. INTERRUPT ALL THOUGHT when that’s the vibe in your headspace. The sooner, the better—before it builds momentum. Get out of your head, please. Back to the body, back to the heart. Take note, in fact, that your body & heart are feeling bad as they sync with those thoughts. Now, go after what makes them feel better. Abandon thinking altogether until you can reach for thoughts that go with a relaxed body and soothed heart. You’ll know you’re ready to bring focus back to the topic when
Now, let your imagination run, do the research, make the phone calls & visits, have the conversations, and make little or large choices that move you toward that readiness to decide—or plunk you right in a decision that you notice kind of made itself. (Byron Katie taught me that decisions make themselves, and I keep finding that when I’m tending my state through my 3 centers, they do just that.) Hey, when you’re in a good place in body-heart-head, I invite you to notice the magic. Are you …
Notice the magic. It will get you where you’re going. (And, um, it’s not magic at all. It’s the way things work when you’re clear & open. You know.) Love & blessings, Jaya PS #1. Here’s a 3-centered approach to walking yourself through anything right now! And here’s something about Swift Changes in a Caribbean Sky, and how maybe all you really need to do is mind how you feel. PS #2. New and repeat people come to drop-in group-coaching night all the time. You too are so welcome to join us on- or off-camera, to speak or stay silent, to come take care of yourself by receiving teachings & moving through processes that apply to all, whatever the presenting story or question. Please come & go during the hour as it works for you with no explanation or apology. I just love meeting with you. PS #3. I’ve slowed down the mailings in 2024. Going for every other week-ish. Drop-in group coaching happens every Monday night unless specified as paused (as for April 15). In other words, group coaching happens whether it’s a mailing Monday or not.
0 Comments
and let go of the hard & pointless work of being the doer Want a quicker read? You can simply learn or review the placemat process by starting below the first pic. Scroll down, baby … I was thinking about how hard it is for people to LET GO of trying to control all the parts and believing I’M THE ONE who makes it happen. Doership! We even stir up more confusion by accusing ourselves of being irresponsible or not properly showing up when we’re not doing our utmost (as we tense up & exhaust ourselves) to think of everything and manage all the parts. That’s a problem because
Those who use the G-word sometimes say, Let go and let God. Um, sure, that can be used to go complacent or excuse not stepping up. It can also be used to let go of what you can’t control, and let the greater intelligence do its thing. It will always include you in the doing (some of us think you are God and God is you), but won’t put you in charge of what you just don’t have the capacity to do, manage, or control (since you’re also in this limited ego-reality as an individual human being). When I first heard the term the organizing intelligence of the Universe, it just sang to me. I was already aware of the love force and fully down for that. I hadn’t thought about or even begun to take in (and that will be an ongoing process till I die) the unfathomable intricacies & crazy brilliance of what I now call the orchestration. So how do you come to know that, work with it better, FLOW with it, give yourself to that current? Play your part and put down what’s not yours? The PLACEMAT PROCESS from Abraham-Hicks is my favorite way to put stuff down and get crystal clear about what I’m doing and what I’m not doing. And bee-tee-dubs, it’s called that because Esther (yeah, the nice white lady from Texas who channels Abraham, which or who is actually a group of entities, I know, I know, but stay with me, please, because it’s brilliant)—Esther got this process while she was at a restaurant and used a paper placemat to try it out. For those who like Byron Katie’s 3 kinds of business, note that this allow you to clearly and on paper (where you won’t get sidetracked by all the slippery seaweed in the mind) write down in one area what belongs to the Universe and even to other people, and separately note what’s yours. The act of writing it down is also a literal and symbolic putting it down. Placing it in those larger hands, or into that great holding net where everything’s being gorgeously woven together in a way that works for the good of all concerned.
So in your area on the paper, you write down only what you’ll do today. Abraham says, Mean it. Whatever you put there, you know for sure you’ll get to it. Cool if you get this wrong, folks. Use it to take in how confused you still are about how much you’re supposed to and can get into a day. We’re actually not meant to CRAM OUR DAYS full with productive activity. Ay, that’s the great cultural lie of doership and what it means to be good little worker bees. (I imagine real bees are relaxed & having a good time as they bop around collecting pretty powdered nectar & turning it into exquisite golden honey.) But it’s not just that I’m NOT DOING the things I put down in the Universal Manager area. The organizing intelligence, or what A-H calls the Universal Manager, is all over it. Bringing things together with that uncanny right-place right-time precision, flowing things your way, getting people queued up to enter stage left or bump into you as you round the corner, in short—orchestrating. Or … lining up cooperative components that will support you to get to where you’re going. Do watch if you choose to experiment with this. Notice how things moved forward that you didn’t touch because you gave them, for real, to the UM who knows how to effortlessly make it all happen & come together gorgeously. So ANYTHING you’re thinking about, worried about, wishing you could get to, thinking you should already have gotten to (but truth is, you won’t get to it or can’t do anything about it today), PUT IT DOWN. You’ll know as you write (and after) you really are putting it and did put it down when you feel some RELIEF. When you relax. When you feel light instead of heavy. When you feel you’re doing enough, it’s good enough, all is well. (Notice the trust in this?) Put down all that you don’t need to carry today because it’s really not what’s up for YOU to manage, hold, do, or orchestrate. Examples:
When you can look at your little (way littler) list and feel good about THAT being the stuff of your activity today, you’re on the right track. Maybe you’ll even remember that the ACTUAL stuff of your day is not just what you check off the to-do list but …
Hey, I’ve heard Abraham gently & playfully scold people for acting like they’re delegating things to the Universal Manager, and then they have the right to be upset if something didn’t move something forward the way they’d hoped. You’re getting the benefits of the process when you feel RELIEF. Intend relief. Note relief means less resistance. It means you’re entering or you’re in the flow. It means you’ll give yourself a much easier time of it. There’s more going on too but … that’s enough, isn’t it? Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. I almost didn’t say this because I reeaaaallllllly want to encourage you to let go of wanting to get stuff done like that’s the whole point. But … I get a lot more done using this process & cultivating the mentality that goes with it. PP.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Let me repeat that they happen on Monday nights whether there’s a mailing that week or not! Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. PPP.S. Want more super-helpful processes from Abraham? Here’s the mailing on the Marble Game (applied to not-enough-time). And here’s my webpage on Focus Wheels (still maybe my favorite). And the amazing MARBLE GAME to use on this topic or any other Want a quicker read? Scroll down for a numbered list of 12 ways to think about time that feel better. If there’s any detrimental belief that A LOT of people from all walks of life share, at least in American culture and I daresay in most places around the globe, it’s that there’s not enough time. We have more to do that we have time to do it in. Does that even sound right? Is that even possible? And yet people walk around believing it. Please take a moment to notice the toll this takes on you. It’s going to do something that’s counter to total well-being. Any of this sound familiar?
And more. Any awareness hitting right about now about how absurd it is to give yourself this ongoing experience that’s based on an illusion? IT’S NOT REAL. But the effects of believing it are very real, and they impede so much:
And more. Abraham-Hicks has a clarifying and focusing process they call the marble game. It’s really simple and it’s really worth trying. Marbles are your thoughts and beliefs. All the thoughts and beliefs you’ve ever had. We have a lot of those, so in the marble game, you determine which ones you want ACTIVE in this situation. Which beliefs do you want to run the show? For example, you may have three marbles that say
You may have three other marbles that say
Which marbles would you like to have active as you look for a job or start the process of buying a house? Notice you’re likely to feel bad about yourself and ill-equipped for what’s next if you have the first three active; you’ll feel torn and vacillate between mindsets and the matching emotional states if you have all six active; you’ll feel empowered and curious about what’s possible with the last three active. So anytime in life that you notice you’re leading with a bad marble or you have a seriously active marble that’s not where you want to stand—like, There’s not enough time for all I need to get done—then play the marble game to consciously choose 12 marbles you want active. I did that on that very topic one morning recently. (See my activated, chosen marbles #1-12 below the illustration.) Hand drawing in a sketchbook. On the right quarter of the page is text that reads: State the problem here. Not too much! Don't rev up all the gory details. The main drawing on the rest of the page is a circle of marbles. In the center of that circle, are two smaller circles. The first circle contains the succinct version of the problem. The second circle contains the succinct version of your new mindset. Use the right margin to lay out the problem.
Draw a circle of 12 marbles (same positions as for numbers on the clock). In the middle of those, draw 2 circles. The first inner circle will contain the succinct version of the problem already written out in the margin: Not enough time for all tasks. Go ahead and put that in before you fill in beliefs next to each marble. Here, you could also just write a one-word statement of how you’re feeling about that margin problem (discouraged, depleted, angry). Write your 12 statements of more positive, empowering, helpful beliefs you already have (or ones you don’t have to reach too far to get to), the ones you do want to stand in and create from. These go next to the marbles where my squiggly lines are in the illustration. The second inner circle, you’ll fill in at the very end, when the writing out of 12 marbles you want activated brings you to a new mindset: Tasks & time coexist perfectly. (If you chose to write a single feeling word here as described above, then your new words might be brave, energized, accepting.) Here are the 12 marbles (things I actually believe, or that aren’t too far out of reach, and that I want to have as my ACTIVE beliefs) that got me from "Not enough time for all tasks" to "Tasks & time coexist perfectly."
I invite you to play with Abraham’s marble game to consciously activate the beliefs you want to live out of—or carry into just one situation that’s coming up. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Let me repeat that they happen on Monday nights whether there’s a mailing that week or not! Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. An easy way to make this concept concrete, applicable to self & others Consider first what unconditional love could look like directed toward the self. Below, I offer a list that contains two components followed down the line. We begin with a) a possible thing that makes you feel good about yourself and automatically creates a sense of self-love, followed each time by b) the flip side of that, which you generally don’t want and feel bad about—the stuff that stirs up self-disapproval and that sense of being wrong, unworthy, not good enough. Which can lead to all manner of what is not self-love, from walking around feeling subtly off and not quite up to par (without even verbalizing it, but it still feels bad, and it’s unfair to yourself) all the way to pure self-loathing and vicious self-talk (which feels rotten). What if you FULLY, equally, loved yourself in both the wanted & the unwanted aspects of your behavior? Of how you feel? Of how others see you? That’s unconditional self-love. Make it about others, and you’ve got unconditional love as directed to others. Want to love unconditionally? Notice the conditions that get the inner or outer critic in motion. INTERRUPT THE CRITIC. Drop into love for what’s here right now, the good, the bad, the ugly. Consider whether you might at least try saying (writing!) that you love yourself on each end of any spectrum, and all the way across. I love myself when I feel great & strong in my body. I love myself when something hurts or feels tender, off, painful, fragile. I love myself when I’m strong & stable. I love myself when I’m wobbly. I love myself when I’m kind to [my mom] & soothe irritation that arises without expressing it. I love myself when I notice I’m being critical, unkind, mentioning what doesn’t need to be mentioned. I love myself when I’m inappropriately instructing & suggesting. I love myself when I feel the love & joy flowing effortlessly. I love myself when I’m not in the vicinity. I love myself when I show up to do processes (like inquiry, focus wheels, EFT), getting out ahead of old negative thought patterns before they can build momentum or wreak havoc. I love myself when I reach for those processes after I’ve reacted or thrown myself off in some way or even after I’ve gone wayyyy down the rabbit hole and must walk myself through the whole climb back to ground zero. I love myself when I’m happy & appreciating others & all of life.
I love myself when I’m sad & full of discontent. I love myself when people hold up beautiful mirrors telling me I’m great, brilliant, talented, loving. I love myself when someone looks at me funny or declares everything they think is wrong with me. I love myself when I pause and choose a kind, calm, clear response. I love myself when I’m reactive or triggered and don’t even know I’m puking on someone till the mess has already dropped. I love myself when I [do qigong] and grow the practice. I love myself when I skip it. I love myself when I’m [do qigong] in presence, consciously growing my relationship to presence. I love myself when I phone it in, just do it to get it done, call it good enough. I love myself when I just simply and easily say what’s true for me. I love myself when words get stuck in my throat or I tiptoe around the issue. Hey, to be clear, the idea isn’t to condone or excuse what feels off to you. It’s to love what’s actually there, reject no part of yourself. In fact, when you’re loving yourself in any current condition, you’ll be much more able to swiftly course-correct. You’ll feel what’s off and head toward alignment fast. Getting out judgments and filling the space with love makes thing clear and more spacious. There’s room to shift. Maybe you can see that better with others, and it’s just as true for yourself. I invite you to make your own list. You could approach it from either direction: instead of what I did above, you could start with a statement of loving the least-preferred part (especially if it’s present here & now) and go from there to the stuff that easily feels good). You could also sit down on a day you notice you’re carrying around a critical play-by-play narration of yourself or another or your day, job, whatever, and write out both parts. Get yourself squarely situated in the acceptance that you’re not your idealized self, and you don’t need to be. Love yourself (or another) in writing, and you’ll be able to love yourself (or another) in talk, in actions, in the day-to-day now-now-now of it. It’s always helpful to write your thoughts down on paper so you can see what they’re up to and write out what you prefer to think to support really taking it in. Writing helps with focusing. Focus yourself into unconditional love. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Let me repeat that they happen on Monday nights whether there’s a mailing that week or not! Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. would you like to get behind that, for real? Start with believing you’re worthy of thriving. Your worthiness is not earned. You’re here, so you’re worthy to be here. Human beings can thrive, so as a human being, you’re worthy of thriving. You have this one brief life in this form, so what if you kept testing your worthiness to thrive, instead of collecting evidence you haven’t thrived, you’re not thriving, and you probably won’t thrive. Please interrupt that useless waste of your time and energy. Let go completely of whether others are thriving or not. If part of your mission is to support other individuals or groups to thrive, you will do that, you can’t NOT do that, and you will do it best when you’re thriving. Abraham-Hicks points out that you can’t get sick enough to help others be well, you can’t get poor enough to help others have more wealth. So how 'bout you thrive as much as you can and from there … the best of what you’ve got (which, BONUS, will keep evolving as you keep thriving) can bolster others to thrive. Interrupt all comparisons to others. They’re neither here nor there—just a royal distraction that keeps you from walking yourself toward what you want to be, do, and have. All comparisons among human beings are apple-and-orange comparisons. Seriously, what does it matter what or how anyone else is or isn’t doing? What matters is what you’ve got, what wants to come through you, what you’re passionate about, where you trip yourself up, what you’d like to try next, what you can do right now to meet yourself kindly and walk yourself toward thriving. Go ahead and make this all about you—because ultimately, you’re in charge of your own journey and your own thriving on that journey, and this has nothing to do with anyone else. Catch any whiff of punitive mentality toward yourself and keep releasing it. If you’ve done something that feels off to you or that makes you disapprove of yourself or feel shame or go into self-castigation—pause with that. Be still with that. Breathe it. Let the part of you that still thinks it deserves to be punished come forth. Be with that one. Love them as they are. Love your own humanity. Love that you’re on a journey. Appreciate anything that makes you let go of idealized self-image, self-righteousness, or foolish thoughts that you should be beyond this. I sat with someone recently who was being very hard on themself for something they’d done that violated their own ethic and shattered their sense of well-being and worthiness. I heard myself say, Well, unless you want to walk yourself now to some special little corner in hell that’s been rightfully reserved just for you, you could consider this too—and literally everything that unfolds in your life (even your missteps)--as your next opportunity to heal and evolve. Your best and worst moments, and everything in between (especially if you’re not making identity of them) can all be part of the natural evolutionary thrust toward thriving. I believe that life wants to support you to thrive, constantly. Would you like to play with believing that? You do already? Cool, now what if you found the topic or realm of life that you keep excluding from that concept—because you tell yourself that here, in this special case, you really don’t deserve …? Releasing identity will support you to thrive. Who are you anyway? What if you’re not the one who fucked up? Just like you’re not the one who’s right or who shouldn’t be talked to this way or the one who created that brilliant art or said those wise words or anything else. Practice being nobody more often. (Hint: play with presence outside of thought. What is revealed to you right now by your five senses, and the grounded sense of being in a body, and the felt sense of your own breathing in this moment? Not much room in there to tell a lot of story and craft much image or make much identity. And not much room to keep yourself from thriving, either.) I recently got thrown off by something that passed between me and another human beings. After a number of clarifying and clearing processes, it’s dissolving and releasing. It was one of those episodes that hit with a wallop, so every once in a while the ego-mind will grab it again and start to present a case for how mad I should be and what they violated and blah-blah-blah. It would go on ad nauseam, but I interrupt it. Lately I’ve been able to just look at it and say, This isn’t even real! And this has nothing to do with who I (really) am and who they (really) are. This doesn’t need my attention. And giving it my attention does not promote my thriving. (To be clear, I gave it the attention of processes when that was needed, and will again as and if the need arises.) We think we’d thrive better if they didn’t do this or hadn’t done that, or if they did do XYZ. Nope, it’s all in our own hands—how we choose to make our interpretations, what we hold on to and release, what we choose to give our focus to. Want to give more focus to what makes you thrive, and to thriving itself? Have more fun. Feel good more often. Laugh more. Focus on what’s fun, what’s easy, what feels good, what you’re proud of, what makes you laugh, what brings pleasure. Cultivate all of this. Make it a project. Oh wait—was the whole start of this paragraph in a recent mailing (on being your own best ally), exactly in those words? Um, yeah. Because that, my friend, is how we believe we’re thriving, want to thrive, practice thriving, get used to thriving, and call forth more thriving.
Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. |
Categories
All
|