and let go of the hard & pointless work of being the doer Want a quicker read? You can simply learn or review the placemat process by starting below the first pic. Scroll down, baby … I was thinking about how hard it is for people to LET GO of trying to control all the parts and believing I’M THE ONE who makes it happen. Doership! We even stir up more confusion by accusing ourselves of being irresponsible or not properly showing up when we’re not doing our utmost (as we tense up & exhaust ourselves) to think of everything and manage all the parts. That’s a problem because
Those who use the G-word sometimes say, Let go and let God. Um, sure, that can be used to go complacent or excuse not stepping up. It can also be used to let go of what you can’t control, and let the greater intelligence do its thing. It will always include you in the doing (some of us think you are God and God is you), but won’t put you in charge of what you just don’t have the capacity to do, manage, or control (since you’re also in this limited ego-reality as an individual human being). When I first heard the term the organizing intelligence of the Universe, it just sang to me. I was already aware of the love force and fully down for that. I hadn’t thought about or even begun to take in (and that will be an ongoing process till I die) the unfathomable intricacies & crazy brilliance of what I now call the orchestration. So how do you come to know that, work with it better, FLOW with it, give yourself to that current? Play your part and put down what’s not yours? The PLACEMAT PROCESS from Abraham-Hicks is my favorite way to put stuff down and get crystal clear about what I’m doing and what I’m not doing. And bee-tee-dubs, it’s called that because Esther (yeah, the nice white lady from Texas who channels Abraham, which or who is actually a group of entities, I know, I know, but stay with me, please, because it’s brilliant)—Esther got this process while she was at a restaurant and used a paper placemat to try it out. For those who like Byron Katie’s 3 kinds of business, note that this allow you to clearly and on paper (where you won’t get sidetracked by all the slippery seaweed in the mind) write down in one area what belongs to the Universe and even to other people, and separately note what’s yours. The act of writing it down is also a literal and symbolic putting it down. Placing it in those larger hands, or into that great holding net where everything’s being gorgeously woven together in a way that works for the good of all concerned.
So in your area on the paper, you write down only what you’ll do today. Abraham says, Mean it. Whatever you put there, you know for sure you’ll get to it. Cool if you get this wrong, folks. Use it to take in how confused you still are about how much you’re supposed to and can get into a day. We’re actually not meant to CRAM OUR DAYS full with productive activity. Ay, that’s the great cultural lie of doership and what it means to be good little worker bees. (I imagine real bees are relaxed & having a good time as they bop around collecting pretty powdered nectar & turning it into exquisite golden honey.) But it’s not just that I’m NOT DOING the things I put down in the Universal Manager area. The organizing intelligence, or what A-H calls the Universal Manager, is all over it. Bringing things together with that uncanny right-place right-time precision, flowing things your way, getting people queued up to enter stage left or bump into you as you round the corner, in short—orchestrating. Or … lining up cooperative components that will support you to get to where you’re going. Do watch if you choose to experiment with this. Notice how things moved forward that you didn’t touch because you gave them, for real, to the UM who knows how to effortlessly make it all happen & come together gorgeously. So ANYTHING you’re thinking about, worried about, wishing you could get to, thinking you should already have gotten to (but truth is, you won’t get to it or can’t do anything about it today), PUT IT DOWN. You’ll know as you write (and after) you really are putting it and did put it down when you feel some RELIEF. When you relax. When you feel light instead of heavy. When you feel you’re doing enough, it’s good enough, all is well. (Notice the trust in this?) Put down all that you don’t need to carry today because it’s really not what’s up for YOU to manage, hold, do, or orchestrate. Examples:
When you can look at your little (way littler) list and feel good about THAT being the stuff of your activity today, you’re on the right track. Maybe you’ll even remember that the ACTUAL stuff of your day is not just what you check off the to-do list but …
Hey, I’ve heard Abraham gently & playfully scold people for acting like they’re delegating things to the Universal Manager, and then they have the right to be upset if something didn’t move something forward the way they’d hoped. You’re getting the benefits of the process when you feel RELIEF. Intend relief. Note relief means less resistance. It means you’re entering or you’re in the flow. It means you’ll give yourself a much easier time of it. There’s more going on too but … that’s enough, isn’t it? Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. I almost didn’t say this because I reeaaaallllllly want to encourage you to let go of wanting to get stuff done like that’s the whole point. But … I get a lot more done using this process & cultivating the mentality that goes with it. PP.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Let me repeat that they happen on Monday nights whether there’s a mailing that week or not! Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. PPP.S. Want more super-helpful processes from Abraham? Here’s the mailing on the Marble Game (applied to not-enough-time). And here’s my webpage on Focus Wheels (still maybe my favorite).
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And the amazing MARBLE GAME to use on this topic or any other Want a quicker read? Scroll down for a numbered list of 12 ways to think about time that feel better. If there’s any detrimental belief that A LOT of people from all walks of life share, at least in American culture and I daresay in most places around the globe, it’s that there’s not enough time. We have more to do that we have time to do it in. Does that even sound right? Is that even possible? And yet people walk around believing it. Please take a moment to notice the toll this takes on you. It’s going to do something that’s counter to total well-being. Any of this sound familiar?
And more. Any awareness hitting right about now about how absurd it is to give yourself this ongoing experience that’s based on an illusion? IT’S NOT REAL. But the effects of believing it are very real, and they impede so much:
And more. Abraham-Hicks has a clarifying and focusing process they call the marble game. It’s really simple and it’s really worth trying. Marbles are your thoughts and beliefs. All the thoughts and beliefs you’ve ever had. We have a lot of those, so in the marble game, you determine which ones you want ACTIVE in this situation. Which beliefs do you want to run the show? For example, you may have three marbles that say
You may have three other marbles that say
Which marbles would you like to have active as you look for a job or start the process of buying a house? Notice you’re likely to feel bad about yourself and ill-equipped for what’s next if you have the first three active; you’ll feel torn and vacillate between mindsets and the matching emotional states if you have all six active; you’ll feel empowered and curious about what’s possible with the last three active. So anytime in life that you notice you’re leading with a bad marble or you have a seriously active marble that’s not where you want to stand—like, There’s not enough time for all I need to get done—then play the marble game to consciously choose 12 marbles you want active. I did that on that very topic one morning recently. (See my activated, chosen marbles #1-12 below the illustration.) Hand drawing in a sketchbook. On the right quarter of the page is text that reads: State the problem here. Not too much! Don't rev up all the gory details. The main drawing on the rest of the page is a circle of marbles. In the center of that circle, are two smaller circles. The first circle contains the succinct version of the problem. The second circle contains the succinct version of your new mindset. Use the right margin to lay out the problem.
Draw a circle of 12 marbles (same positions as for numbers on the clock). In the middle of those, draw 2 circles. The first inner circle will contain the succinct version of the problem already written out in the margin: Not enough time for all tasks. Go ahead and put that in before you fill in beliefs next to each marble. Here, you could also just write a one-word statement of how you’re feeling about that margin problem (discouraged, depleted, angry). Write your 12 statements of more positive, empowering, helpful beliefs you already have (or ones you don’t have to reach too far to get to), the ones you do want to stand in and create from. These go next to the marbles where my squiggly lines are in the illustration. The second inner circle, you’ll fill in at the very end, when the writing out of 12 marbles you want activated brings you to a new mindset: Tasks & time coexist perfectly. (If you chose to write a single feeling word here as described above, then your new words might be brave, energized, accepting.) Here are the 12 marbles (things I actually believe, or that aren’t too far out of reach, and that I want to have as my ACTIVE beliefs) that got me from "Not enough time for all tasks" to "Tasks & time coexist perfectly."
I invite you to play with Abraham’s marble game to consciously activate the beliefs you want to live out of—or carry into just one situation that’s coming up. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE, and new and repeat people come all the time. Let me repeat that they happen on Monday nights whether there’s a mailing that week or not! Come talk to me and/or listen in about any topic and participate in body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. Let’s clear out unnecessary suffering and live in joy from the fullness of all that we are. AND IN ALL OF LIFE AND WHY ALL YOU NEED TO MIND IS HOW YOU FEEL In the sky & sea pics that follow, check out the variety of colors. So many. Fewer than in real life (!), but still plenty captured by my phone camera. It started with noticing one rainbow. We were walking along the shoreline, my long-haired son & I, in that marvelous pre-sunset hour. The winds were whipping up waves and hair, the usual dogs recognized us and bounded over for cuddles & scratches, and LOOK (he said)—a rainbow! In the weirdly busy hour that followed, we saw more rainbows and bits of rainbows in clouds and sky. We actually weren’t doing much. We just walked the strip of sand that got us to the lounge chairs we could rent for the price of one fizzy drink full of lime wedges, floaty mint leaves, and small ice cubes. Then everything got still for the next 40 minutes. Except nothing was still. The winds kept whipping, the rainbows & dogs came and went, and the colors in the sky never quit changing. We got up once to take a picture when the array of colors was beyond insane, and by the time we found our desired places and the camera was ready (not even a full minute), our background wasn’t the same. Everything changes. Always. Constantly. Always. Constantly. That’s why it’s a waste of precious time to fixate on what’s not to your liking in the present moment. That’s why it serves nothing to say you’re stuck. You really can’t be. (It’s okay if you feel stuck and notice you feel stuck. It’s great if you hear yourself think or say that you’re stuck. Just use that to come to and remember again--no wait! I really can’t be.) Abraham-Hicks tells us again and again, Don’t fixate on current conditions. They’re not reality. (Not a fixed reality. Not the whole reality.) They’re not going to be here in one more moment. Fixate on how you want to feel, and you’re good. Then you’re completely in charge (AGENCY!) and at nothing and no one’s mercy. Let conditions come & go. Some will be to your liking, some not. Some you will think are really wrong. Some will be fucking amazing. Keep the focus on how you feel. Check in with it. Notice it. And reach for what feels better if anything doesn’t feel good at all (subtly or hugely or in any way). What thought would feel better right now? What connection to body & breath would feel better right now? What can you do to soothe your feeling state right now and simply make yourself feel better?
Are you fixating on what feels bad? Sinking into it? Dissecting it? Discussing it? Revving it up? That’s an option. (And you’re not a bad person if you’re there! Just a person.) What else is possible, though? You could take charge of the one thing you can control as conditions keep changing. Mind how you feel. Reach for what feels better right now. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are on a different schedule in December. We did not meet last week, but we’ll meet this week and next (Dec 11 & 18). I’m also doing a special Dec 27 Wednesday-night group (still 7:30-8:30 ET). New and repeat people come to these Monday events all the time, so it could be you! You too are so welcome to join us on- or off-camera. (Would you, could you believe that it’s supposed to be easy?) I just found a little note I wrote for myself with an Abraham-Hicks quote that struck me: “The path of least resistance is also the path of greatest joy, greatest clarity, and the most fun!” Abraham’s path of least resistance is a crazy-simple concept: You watch for and find the easiest, most effortless spot to next place your foot. Don’t see the whole picture? Don’t have a start-to-finish plan? No problem. Find your next step, knowing that’s enough. Take the easiest step you have access to. You can do it tired, scared, confused. Point yourself roughly in the right direction (as I talk about in part 4 of Scooch!) and step forward, wherever your foot can land without some big leap or forceful stomping. You can do it with curiosity instead of dread; you can stay tuned for the guidance rather than fear you’ll get it wrong. You can trust yourself to course-correct as you go. It’s always okay to find you’re in resistance. Watch it dispassionately, compassionately. Then find your point of least resistance, and step there. Rinse and repeat; rinse and repeat. You’ll see and feel the resistance melt away. You’ll find the momentum builds as you go, often surprisingly swiftly. To proceed along the path of least resistance, start by noticing when you’re in resistance. In your body, resistance can feel like
You’re in resistance when you're
It also helps to be clear about the signs that you're on a path of least resistance:
How to follow the path of least resistance: All you need to do is gingerly pick your way along the unknown way, one step at a time, simply finding your next point of least resistance. What’s the easiest way to go that feels like it’s in the right direction? Forget the whole picture. Don’t call this one step a drop in the bucket. Your point of least resistance simply gives you access to movement. One step, and another, and the next, until you’re moving so well, you forget you didn’t know how to do this. You’ll course-correct as you go, so don’t worry about whether you’re heading just the right way. You’re meant to build and ride momentum. Hey, it’s not just that the path of least resistance will get you to where you’re going in the most effortless way. Remember the quote I began with from Abraham-Hicks? “The path of least resistance is also the path of greatest joy, greatest clarity, and the most fun!” So when it feels like that … you’re on it! Love & blessings, Jaya Note that an earlier post on least resistance approaches these concepts from another angle. Below are categories of positive rumination, with examples. Scan them, if you wish, and come closer to the ones you’re most drawn to or need the most help with. Use all of these categories with an intention of self-soothing. Notice that you actually know how to soothe yourself and you’re able to soothe yourself.
DO NOT make feeling better a requirement for sticking with self-soothing. Do it for its own sake. Do it because it’s more likely to eventually calm you and make you hopeful and clear and able to act--while going back to negative ruminations or self-attack is likely to make you feel worse and get stuck where you don’t want to be. Cultivate kind, self-supporting rumination for the sake of not abandoning yourself. Do it as practice. Do it to be kind; to vote for life, healing, evolution; to come closer to love. Connecting to magic: Notice signs and symbols; review synchronicity, echoes, repetition. Let yourself be wowed by the gorgeous timing or aligned meetings you didn’t orchestrate. Make much of how life keeps surprising you. Revel in the wonder of super-cool stuff and creatures and facts—amazing stuff is actually REAL on this planet. Let the beauty of it all touch you. Laugh at absurd happenings and interconnections. Be fascinated and amazed by how the parts of your life and people in it are woven together by an intelligence greater than you—an intelligence that’s interesting and loving and has a fabulous sense of humor. Trusting in or experimenting with a friendly Universe: This is a human experience, not something personal. I’m willing to be a human being having this human experience. This is not punishment—I don’t live in a punitive Universe. I don’t need to understand why this is happening; I need to get present and meet it well. I can believe I’m guided and have all the support I need. I can watch for all that’s revealed along the way and trust the journey. I can believe I [anyone, a group, the planet] will gain from going through this. Lemonade-making (subset of friendly U above): [First one’s from Byron Katie:] I’ve been spared. Whatever or whoever falls away no longer belongs in my life to support my current level of healing and evolution. There will be lessons in this I can’t see yet; perhaps I can name one now—some likely or obvious one. Nothing is going wrong here (besides that I’m not getting what I wanted when and how I wanted it). This is a great opportunity to practice what I’ve been wanting to practice. I’m building some muscles right now, and muscles are appealing. This is a chance to trust life, to show up for what’s actually happening, to value open and shut doors equally as part of my ongoing guidance. This is an opportunity to draw and hold boundaries. There’s no problem with what’s happening. (Note the latter is true even if people are hurting or dying—not to deny death or suffering but to accept anything as part of human life on planet earth, and to believe in an evolutionary thrust operative even it looks like it’s going backward.) Looking for all that supports you: Start simple and get basic. I have food, water, air, a roof overhead, ground underfoot. My mattress supports me; this pillow supports me; the couch supports me. This land supports me. The beauty of this place supports me. My love of this mission supports me. I have a working phone, and there are 3 people I could text or call if I wanted to; if I left them a message they’d receive it in right time with caring. I can see one thing I could do right now that would make me feel better physically or emotionally; I can see one thing to do that would support me to feel better inhabiting my space. Certain people occupying certain roles in my life support me. I can think of one thing to try or think about differently that I want to practice and/or that has served me before. Someone kind is nearby or has been recently. Strangers have helped me or could. The unexpected could happen, and I’m open. I can remember a specific time the unexpected did happen. I’m not lacking support just because I hurt. I’m not lacking support just because I don’t know what to do or can’t see into the future. I’m not lacking support just because I’ve made mistakes or think I’m making one now. Actually, I do have all I need right now. Cultivating the belief that you’re fine as you are: There’s nothing wrong with me. Whatever I’m feeling is okay. There’s nothing to fix. Source sees me as an entirely valid and beautiful being on an entirely valid and beautiful journey. I’d like to see myself as Source sees me. I’d like to see myself through lenses of love and compassion and ease and forgiveness. I think I can get better at that; in fact, I already have. All will be revealed as I go and I’m okay right now. I’ve been here before and I didn’t get stuck here. It’s okay to be a work in progress—that’s in fact all that’s possible. It’s okay to be exactly where I am now on my path at this moment in time—and because it’s impermanent, it will yield to something else. What if there’s nothing to fault myself for? If I’m in a shame spiral or self-reproach, the thing to correct is the shame or the reproach; I don’t need to be corrected; I am not a problem. If I’m not acting right now or if I keep putting that off, maybe it’s not time for it. Maybe I’m working up to it. Maybe I’d work up to it better being kind to myself. I’m fine. Giving yourself a bit of credit: Consider and name things you’ve completed recently, things you feel good about, things you did well, things you’ve achieved, things you’ve understood more deeply, new insights or aha moments. Consider something recent you handled better than ever or interrupted or remembered earlier. I’ve come a long way. I’m doing better with this than I used to. I can think of things I’ve cleaned up or transformed that I wasn’t sure I could change or that I know human beings can go into denial about or get stuck in. I’m willing to look at myself. I’m willing to witness myself right now and to get kinder in the witnessing. What I’m feeling or believing now really better represents my younger self. You might imagine sitting with or holding that one now and giving them/her/him messages of love and reassurance; let them in on good things to come. Expanding into “I’m amazing”: I actually like myself—I like my sensibilities and my preferences and my skills and my talents. I like how I look, how I use my body, how I feel things. I love how the Universal intelligence [love] [goodness] [life force] moves through me. I can think of things I’ve done that are really cool and kind of amazing. I love what I’m cultivating and moving toward right now. I can think of things I’ve lived through that made me a strong and kind of badass human being. I like some of my current life choices and experiences and ways of being that support and express my badassery. I can think of ways I’ve loved well and truly made choices for good. I love how I’m loving now. It just keeps getting better. I keep getting better. I’m amazing. I can think of things I’ve created or been part of or led that I truly value. I appreciate my values. I can think of things I’ve learned about or learned to do that I’m kind of in awe of. I like how I feel right now. I like who I am right now. [Last one’s from Louise Hay:] I love myself, I approve of myself. Being here now: There’s nowhere else I need to be; there’s nothing else I should be doing. The Universe has got that right now and I don’t need to give it my attention. That’s their business, not mine—I release them to their life, I release myself to mine. Ah, in this exact moment, this is what I see (hear, taste, smell, feel). I don’t need to check on the future right now. I get to focus on the one task of the moment, not the outcome or other parts of the project. There’s nothing to asses or evaluate right now. If I’m stuck in something past, I’m the one holding on to it: the Universe and all of life has moved on. If someone else is stuck in a past we had together, I can leave them to it; it’s up to me to move on and cultivate my own presence here and now. I can feel the breath moving through me. Right now, I can connect to the felt, sensory experience of the breath. I feel that it feels good, it calms me, it brings me to the core of my being. The breath connects me to now and brings me to my body as it is now, as I inhabit it now. I’m willing to be here now. Going general (from Abraham-Hicks): I don’t need to figure this out right now. I’ve (we’ve) gotten through similar or worse and I’m (we’re) wiser and more equipped for this. All will be revealed in right time. I’ll know what to do in the moment. This is all human stuff and life stuff—not personal to me. This is a normal human experience to go through and I’m willing to go through it. If I don’t know, I don’t need to know right now. It’ll all come out in the wash. I can pan out to eagle view and get out of stressful mouse-view. I can leave the details aside and keep my overall vision in view. I don’t need to understand where the money will come from—things get financed and my understanding of and relationship with money can keep changing. I have time—we all have time; there’s no shortage of time. I know how to prioritize. I just need to locate the next thing to do. I can aim roughly in the right direction and trust in my ability to course-correct. I can believe I’m guided even in the midst of uncertainty. Soothing yourself could include bits from all the categories above, and if you can’t put a topic down, there’s nothing like going general (just above) to diffuse the stress of it. Mental self-soothing or self-talk that makes you feels better involves giving yourself a string of messages to remind yourself that nothing’s going wrong, that you’re equipped to meet what’s happening, that all is well, that you’re guided, that your needs are met and you’re safe, that everything and everyone are in the care of a greater intelligence than yours, that love prevails. Love & blessings, Jaya |
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