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diamonds & trust nuggets

Good reminders in hard times

4/22/2020

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4 Things to remind yourself early & often
(which will connect you to self & to guidance)

1. Bring it to now: Come back from the future (quit predicting what you don't want) and come back from the past (quit accruing towers of one thing stacked on top of another so it's all too much) and don't try to figure it all out. What can you do right now to align with this moment? Notice that you're equipped for this one moment.

2. Come back to the breath: Breathing is a felt, sensory experience, but we typically don't feel it. I love to invite people not to breeaaaaathe or even to take a deep breath, but to simply drop into the breath; follow it; stay with it; feel it. Feel its soothing, its kindness, its calming capacity. Feel how it brings you to the core of your being and brings your whole nervous system down a notch or two. It's powerful to take some moments dropping in with the breath and come back to yourself.

3. You don't have to figure it all out right now: This is a great thing to tell yourself to get out of your head, out of fix-it mode, out of believing you're not okay till you have it all sorted out and see the way forward. Actually, if you don't see it all clearly, then you don't have to figure it out right now. Soothe yourself instead (see Come back to the breath above).

4. You are guided: Life wants to get you where you're going. It wants to feed you, provide for your needs, heal and evolve you, keep bringing you closer to love. When you think you need to know what the future will hold, or insist on a blueprint for getting there (when there isn't one), or--yuck--fault yourself because you must be doing something wrong if you don't see the way forward: STOP. Quit thinking you're all alone and it's all up to you to find your way through the dark. You're guided. Connect to guidance.
​
Love & blessings, Jaya

heyyyy. LOOK RIGHT for CORONA SUPPORT label under CATEGORIES. Find posts most likely to support you as you move through the fascinating challenge of a pandemic. You're equipped to meet this, and to meet yourself kindly on this journey!
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Use the Holidays for your further evolution

11/24/2019

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Okay, I know the thing these days is succinct posts with practical bullet points and sound bites. That’s not what I’m doing here. I’m going with
  1. Old-fashioned storytelling
  2. A challenge that’s also an invitation—an invitallenge
  3. Okay, fine. I’ll end with actionable bullet points. You can skip to those now if you like.
                                               
My object here is to invite you to use the holidays for your becoming, not for a habitual replay of old stories and bygone identities. Use this time of festivity, connection, and sacred renewal to honor your healing and evolution.
 
A Story of My Hapless Mother and Holiday Misery
In my growing-up story, the woman who played the mother character was both beautiful and flimsy. She had no concept of her own beauty, no solid grasp on her own goodness and inherent worthiness. (Both of these had always been constantly, in clipped comments and spiteful tones, thrown into question by her own mother.)
 
Once, when we lived in France (I was maybe seven), I remember creeping into the living room during a gathering that featured grown-ups speaking French and English with more accents than I could track. My eyes flashing across the room, I captured a live snapshot of my Arkansas mom taking a drag off a cigarette. My mom didn’t smoke! But hey—in 1960-something, just anyone can reach for that prop in a smoky social scene and get away with it. I was struck in that unforgettable moment by her beauty. She could’ve been a movie star, from where I stood in semi-hiding.

There were other such moments of brief, dazzling light shone on the subject of my mother, but they never stuck. She would always go back to her fretting self, probably jerked into that known place by the mother an ocean away whom she kept close in her mind, whose worn voice played in shrill loops over anything new my mom might try to tell herself. No certain opinion, no clear creation (she sometimes stripped old furniture and infused it with new life), no authentic laughter startled out of her in an unguarded moment ever ushered in the woman she wanted to be.

 
Nope, she reverted every time to the frazzled mom who could cry for days or scream for hours, because it was all too much for her. Dad’s work called him away, a lot, to spend two and three weeks at a time in Spain, Portugal, Italy—wherever; wherever the women were sexier and stronger than she was. She was stuck in a small Normandy village, alone and adrift among the Frogs, inept in every way, challenged even to ask the grocer a question.
 
She didn’t trust her capacity to hold her husband’s attention, to be a good mother, to put any kind of beauty into the world, despite the fact that she could and often would do all three—or dabble at least, till her insecurities ridiculed her in my grandmom’s voice into getting small again. (If she were really so small, she wouldn’t have felt so trapped and miserable there, but she didn’t have that interpretation at her disposal. She didn’t have tools for moving from her habitual thoughts to something kinder and truer.)
 
Holidays during the years in France actually still glitter in my memory. I believe these were actually fun events, with warmer-than-normal family feelings infusing the festive scenes, and a smattering of gifts wrapped in gold and doused in magic. But then, just before I turned ten, we moved back to the U.S., and that put us in driving distance of my mom’s childhood home, or what she still simply called home (not yet having been able, with all the corporate moves, to truly make her own).

This launched years of dreaded and dreadful holiday events. There was no choice, or any concept of possible choice, in the matter of what we were doing for the holidays. That decision was made by cultural expectations upheld with a vengeance by upright human beings: we were going to be with family. This would include predictable church scenes, predictable meal-preparation and meal scenes, predictable gift-opening scenes. Some of these things were just fine on the whole, or seemed to be, but for my mother, it all represented nonstop encounters with her demons. I learned to discern, over the years, the constant subtext in things said by her mother and sister and the increasingly obvious preference given by the one to the other. My mother always paled in comparison to her more glamorous, more confident sister.

Once returned to our nuclear-family reality, we then cycled through the predictable scenes of my mother processing the self-esteem trauma reactivated by holiday events. First, she was just pissy, peevish, prone to small explosions. As the pressure built, she started giving my father hell for all he didn’t do for her—and not that she was wrong, especially with Uncle Pill and Aunt Glam so freshly in view. As with the glaring contrast in the love my grandmom doled out between her two daughters, no one could miss how the diamonds and finery Aunt Glam uncovered from her husband's gift boxes put to shame the not-much and not-memorable stuff my mother pulled from hers.

 
From there, she moved to giving her kids hell for all that we thought of her (we thought she was our servant; we thought she should do everything for us that we would never have even an ounce of gratitude for; we thought that she had no right to any happiness of her own—actually, all wrong, and all very confusing to the kids involved, stated as trembling facts, punctuated with slaps). There were predictable scenes of her going silent, crying over slow, morose ironing or tense chopping of onions and slapping together of casseroles. There were the quiet moments she got lost in a book—an activity that allowed her to pretty much disappear and maybe feel only half-bad about it. (I liked the books best, feeling maybe only half-anxious about them.)
 
In the culture my mother grew up in, stepping from ill-favored daughter to hastily taken wife with no transitional time to know herself and choose her path, she certainly had no choice over how to spend the holidays. She had no concept of her guidance system that let her know which way to head through inner tugs, through sensations of contraction versus expansion, through emotions to pay attention to for the information they bring. She knew only rules in a punitive Universe, embodied by a paternal white-bearded God figure that she was not allowed to question, and wouldn’t dare re-envision.
 
I’m so fortunate for where I am in time. I’ve noticed a million times over, throughout my adult life, that I’ve got a wealth of resources my mom didn’t have. I even smoked freely for a brief time and inhabited my own beauty guiltlessly, if not with total comfort. I rejected the religion of my childhood categorically and took years of trial-and-error experimentation to rebuild a belief system that honored the spiritual truth of my being—something I was entirely and effortlessly in touch with as a child. (It helped that the France years meant virtually no religious constraints, as there was no Baptist church in spitting or driving distance, and my parents trusted no other religion.)
 
My Invitallenge to You.
If your holidays are miserable and your holiday choices are based in obligation or some lie you tell yourself about having no choice, I want to sweetly ask: what are you doing? This is not 1960-something.
 
Please gauge the evolution. Like me, you have healed and evolved beyond your parents. Would you like to keep evolving? Are you willing to use anything and everything to keep coming closer to your guidance system, holidays included? Will you practice presence anywhere and any time of year, especially since presence is simply about tuning in to what’s here right now, and the here-and-now still exists during the holidays? Reminder that presence allows you to access choice, because your connection to the felt, sensory experience of this moment, as it actually is, allows you to bypass autopilot tendencies; question antiquated assumptions and stories; and reach right now for a choice that actually makes sense (to you).
 
Actionable Bullet Points.
  • Refuse to be a victim of the holidays, which intention is best served by being clear about choice and getting 100 percent behind each choice you make. Note that the latter may require you to get supports in place so you’re able to do just that. It’s fine to choose family traditions, but you don’t have to. If you do, don’t bitch and moan and dread; don’t find fault with the characters you already knew would be part of the scene, showing up the way they do; don’t act shocked by predictable things unfolding in predictable ways.
  • Use the holidays to connect to and follow your guidance system. Respond to inner guidance around minutia (when to put something down, bring something up, walk away for a minute), so that you can follow the guidance for big things too: I’m not eating that food or explaining my dietary choices; I’m leaving for hours of solo adventure the second someone starts bleating about the favorite family scapegoat; I’m going home on day two instead of day eight.
  • Practice presence, because that’s how you’ll stay out of past or future, how you’ll tune in to information (guidance) coming in through your body and senses now, how you’ll calm and support yourself with the breath, and how you’ll have access to choice—the one you need to make right this second in order to have fun, to get your needs met, to give your authentic best—and perhaps to keep heart and mind wide open.
  • Play with boundaries. Sometimes it’s great to stay open, and sometimes your well-being asks for you to shut something, move away from it, end it altogether. Feel into your right yes and no and seek to tell the truth, or aim as close to it as you can get in the moment. Again, practice boundaries with the small, inconsequential stuff so you can do it with bigger things too. If you think you’re not good at this, there’s only one way to get better: yeah, it’s true—practice. Why not practice during the holidays?

I just talked to a brilliant and beautiful friend who's staying away from family of origin this year during the holidays. It took her years to get to this level of self-permission. I invite you to it. What I invite you to, more specifically, is just the level of permission and boundaries you need. And if you choose to engage with anyone at all who brings up stress for you or in any way makes you question your goodness or well-being, please get lots of supports in place. (Here's a solid holiday support I offer, an audio program with written supplements, priced at $22 for 2019 Holidays.)

Why not use this time of festivity, connection, and sacred renewal to honor your healing and evolution?
Love & blessings, Jaya

Seriously: Check out my Holiday program, Before They Drive You Crazy, TAKE THE WHEEL. It's chock-full of spiritual-meets-practical supports.
And here's my free pdf that offers a formula and script for holding your boundaries during hard conversations with difficult people.
 Get the free pdf lays out the premises for an experiment in conscious dating.

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Force nothing

9/5/2019

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(Would you, could you believe that it’s supposed to be easy?)
I just found a little note I wrote for myself with an Abraham-Hicks quote that struck me: “The path of least resistance is also the path of greatest joy, greatest clarity, and the most fun!”
 
Abraham’s path of least resistance is a crazy-simple concept: You watch for and find the easiest, most effortless spot to next place your foot. Don’t see the whole picture? Don’t have a start-to-finish plan? No problem. Find your next step, knowing that’s enough. Take the easiest step you have access to.
 
You can do it tired, scared, confused. Point yourself roughly in the right direction (as I talk about in part 4 of Scooch!) and step forward, wherever your foot can land without some big leap or forceful stomping.
 
You can do it with curiosity instead of dread; you can stay tuned for the guidance rather than fear you’ll get it wrong. You can trust yourself to course-correct as you go.
 
It’s always okay to find you’re in resistance. Watch it dispassionately, compassionately. Then find your point of least resistance, and step there. Rinse and repeat; rinse and repeat. You’ll see and feel the resistance melt away. You’ll find the momentum builds as you go, often surprisingly swiftly.
 
To proceed along the path of least resistance, start by noticing when you’re in resistance.
 
In your body, resistance can feel like
  • contraction/tension
  • anxiety/adrenaline
  • discomfort
  • distress
  • illness or disease or anything out of whack
  • depression, procrastination, shut-down
  • those gut feelings that something is off

You’re in resistance when you're
  • second-guessing and what-iffing
  • talking yourself into and out of things
  • making excuses (even for others) or rationalizing your decisions
  • treating someone else in the story like a victim that you have to be careful with
  • declaring yourself to be a victim of what’s hard or going wrong (vs. getting curious and paying attention)
  • wondering whether you're attracted or not; whether you really want to go somewhere or do something or not
  • thinking you need to see the whole picture, have a whole plan, before you move
  • thinking you need to gather more knowledge or garner more support before you start
  • making it about money (no, in case you balk at that, I actually do personally and viscerally know what poverty looks like)
  • giving yourself lectures on things like responsibility or commitment (when you haven’t failed to be responsible or to commit)
  • telling yourself why you can’t have what you want, or why it won’t work
  • calling yourself XYZ for wanting what you want or going for what you’re after (What do you call yourself to stop your right movement? Privileged, greedy, selfish?)
  • calling yourself XYZ for being immobilized, instead of looking at fears (de)constructively and compassionately (Do you call yourself lazy, bad at follow-through, undeserving?)
  • going in again and again after each next nosedive or shut door (I don’t mean appropriate persistence when you feel connected to your vision! I mean when you’re more like a bull in a china shop than a curious explorer picking your way through uncharted territory—hey, you get to choose the metaphor you want to play out!)
 
It also helps to be clear about the signs that you're on a path of least resistance:
  • it often feels easy
  • even where it’s hard, you’re having fun, you feel inspired
  • you feel challenged in the good way
  • where there’s actual effort needed, you feel equipped for that—not overwhelmed—so it’s effort worth exerting
  • there's a sense of rightness (or, in romance/relationship, that you get each other, that you’re super curious about this individual, that you feel their genuine interest in you)
  • you're able to be present, able to come back from wondering or worrying about the future
  • you're not riding a yo-yo in a stay-or-go decision-making process
  • there's more right than wrong
  • you feel a series of obstacles as an interesting journey that’s building muscles you need (not as a string of defeating, demoralizing debacles)
  • you often see that what comes up is your stuff and you're therefore able to process it at that level, not go after the situation or the other person requiring them to change (in dating or in working/living closely with others, you can process what comes up without necessarily involving the other, or you can process it first for yourself then bring them the short version; note you’re not asking them to fix it for you or adjust themselves for your well-being)
 
How to follow the path of least resistance:
All you need to do is gingerly pick your way along the unknown way, one step at a time, simply finding your next point of least resistance. What’s the easiest way to go that feels like it’s in the right direction? Forget the whole picture. Don’t call this one step a drop in the bucket. Your point of least resistance simply gives you access to movement. One step, and another, and the next, until you’re moving so well, you forget you didn’t know how to do this. You’ll course-correct as you go, so don’t worry about whether you’re heading just the right way. You’re meant to build and ride momentum.
 
Hey, it’s not just that the path of least resistance will get you to where you’re going in the most effortless way. Remember the quote I began with from Abraham-Hicks? “The path of least resistance is also the path of greatest joy, greatest clarity, and the most fun!” So when it feels like that … you’re on it!
 
Love & blessings, Jaya

Note that an earlier post on least resistance approaches these concepts from another angle.

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beyond do-do-doership

8/3/2017

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Here's a sane, peaceful, trusting alternative to doership.


The idea of doership, or being the doer, is that you’re the one making things happen or getting things done—and when you’re in doership, you’re in illusion (uh, not to mention stress). You’re also prone to getting intense about how things go, in what timing, and with what outcome. Here’s a great sentence from an online dictionary explaining doership: “If there is no feeling of doership in the deed performed, then bondage will not result.”

How do you get out of doership? (If you’re skimming or in get-in-get-out mode, drop down to bullet points below for sound things to tell yourself when you catch yourself being the doer.) First, simply notice when you’re believing you’re the one who makes it happen, or you have to get it done, or if you don’t do this, no one else will or it won’t get done right or all hell will break loose. Notice when you’re doing a task or moving from point A to point B between tasks in a way that’s tense, driven, anxious, frenetic. Notice the lack of peace [substitute ease, equanimity, joy, connection to magic] in do-do-do-do-do.

Stop. If you can’t take a pause, then follow the next instructions while you’re carrying on with whatever you must do. Tune in to your breath and watch it go in and out. Follow the passage of the breath, right on its heels, experiencing exactly where it is in your body at any given moment. Feel the inevitable pause once the out-breath is spent. Come back to the core of yourself, back to center, by following the breath. This will also instantly serve to calm you, even a bit, and to elongate the breath—with no actual effort to do that. Just watch the breath—don’t slow it down; it will slow down on its own.

Now find where you’re believing you’re the one who makes it happen. Notice you think you have to make it happen. Notice you’re believing that your doing is why you’re here, or your most important assignment, or at the very least what you must do right now. Consider the possibility that you’re in illusion. Tell yourself clearly, explicitly: I’m in doership right now, so I must be in illusion.

Next tell yourself a number of things you can actually believe to counter this thought that you have to make it happen. I’ll list a bunch of possibilities, and you can adopt those that resonate and come up with more on your own. The point is to counter this potent belief with a good number of other things that you can also believe and that are closer to truth:
  • I don’t have to make it happen.
  • I have to get out of the way.
  • I have to let go.
  • I’d do better to let go.
  • I get to let go.
  • I get to experience the pure relief of letting go.
  • I could show up with curiosity and be present to what does happen instead of making things happen.
  • I get to show up with curiosity.
  • I get to be present to what’s actually happening.
  • I get to keep releasing what’s not mine to control or to do. I release it to what’s bigger than me [plug in Higher Power, the Universe, Source—the G-word goes here if you use it].
  • I get to find the way downstream.
  • I get to drop the paddle and quit forcing my way upstream.
  • I need only determine what’s actually mine to do.
  • I get to do only what’s mine to do.
  • I get to do that with the greatest ease I can drop into.
  • I get to harness the power of ease, effortlessness, alignment.
  • I really need to work less and play more, even as I continue to appropriately take care of what’s mine to take care of, do what’s mine to do.
  • I need to spend more time witnessing the amazing work of the infinite organizing intelligence of the Universe.
  • I get to spend more time witnessing the amazing work of the infinite organizing intelligence of the Universe.
  • I need to align with that and find my way in the flow.
  • I get to align with that.
  • I get to be connected. I am connected.
  • I honor my connection to Source, self, and others—I am never separate, though I might feel like I am and believe I am, especially when I’m in doership.
  • I get to show up, present, watching for what happens next, watching what life shows me.
  • I’m not present when I’m in doership. I’m missing or resisting or plowing through what’s actually happening when I’m in doership. I get to come back to presence.
  • As for my place in the whole, my own right actions, my guidance system will always show me the next step to take or even a possible step to experiment with taking.
  • My guidance system will show me how to course-correct as I go.
  • I love that my guidance system always alerts me to tweaks needed as I move down my path.
  • What I really have to do is let go of outcomes.
  • I get to let go of outcomes.
  • I get to let go of understanding the whole journey.
  • I get to let go of figuring it all out and making it all come together.
  • I am not the doer.
  • I get to show up for what’s happening now.
  • Sometimes it’s my job to look at the big picture and plan and schedule things or lay out structures and timelines. Otherwise, the future is not mine to mind.
  • I get to be present to now, determine and show up for my task in the now, connected to the greater whole and good of all concerned, connected even to the flow of the entire cosmos.
  • I get to show up for what’s happening now and find the most effortless way to do what’s mine to do, the thing that comes through me.
  • I love that so many things, when I let go, happen with an ease and grace and utter perfection that I couldn’t have orchestrated myself. I let go.

If any of that leaves you feeling more relaxed and more expansive, you’re on the right track. Use the contractions you feel to call you to a pause for breath and mental reset. On the physical level, notice clenched muscles, furrowed brow, frenetic motions—even irritated or bossy tones of voice. Catch yourself (kindly, without judgment) in needless intensity and tension. Come back to the breath, back to what’s truer and more aligned than forcing your way through as the doer. You really do get to live in alignment and flow—and you’ll function more effectively and even more efficiently when you’re there.

​Beyond doership is a great exhale and opening to magic! 
Note that part of living in everyday magic includes aligning with flow, connecting to your guidance system, living in the now. Show up for the journey, now and now and now, because that’s where the magic reveals itself.​
Love & blessings, Jaya

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How to prevent or allow living in everyday magic

5/20/2017

 
We are all deeply connected, and living in alignment can mean connecting to the symbolic aspects of this Universe, and its playful, responsive nature. A way I like to say it for myself is, I'm in dialogue with the Universe, and I'm not the only one talking. In brief, the stuff of the magic includes signs and symbols, gorgeous timing, unplanned rendez-vous, fun with words and numbers, recognition, echos, repetition--all manner of synchronicity--and more. If we choose, we have access to this magic every day.


You cannot live in everyday magic if
  • you hate mundane tasks and think and talk about what  a pain they are
  • you practice the fundamentalist religion of efficiency
  • you allow yourself to be thrown off by things like poor customer service or pathetic world affairs—or you find yourself thrown off by such things and get stuck there, either by cultivating the feelings, reviewing the gory details, or judging yourself for feeling stuck or thrown off
  • you live by a script written out as to-do lists
  • you're always focused on what's undone or what wasn't done well enough
  • you go to bed reviewing what's wrong, bad, scary, troublesome, undone, not done well enough (then wake up reviewing ...)
  • you're making your personal-growth process a fix-it project, especially one with little kindness or gentleness (please read my book Scooch! if this is you!)
  • you're constantly evaluating and assessing and predicting
  • you're letting fear make your small and large decisions for you
  • you make little of crazy-amazing things that happen (even small samples of such) and feel a bit weird or foolish for noticing them at all

You get to live in and cultivate everyday magic when
  • you allow yourself to be struck with awe and wonder by the smallest things (bubble, flower, freckle)
  • you allow yourself to feel and think anything without judging it (and you still don't have to believe your own thoughts)
  • you dabble even intermittently with beginner's mind ("This is all brand new," "I've never seen you before, Familiar One," "I don't fully know all the things I think I know")
  • you play with new ways to love and test what unconditional love might mean as an ongoing project (what does it mean right now to drop conditions for loving you?)
  • you have great boundaries and don't fear, worry, or believe that your boundaries harm others (or keep walking yourself out of such fears)
  • you're willing to go against tendency
  • you cultivate a great relationship with your guidance system, prioritizing what comes up from inside over directives and opinions that come from the outside (and adopt outer suggestions only when and because they resonate with that inner thing that knows the difference between words that come in like a purifying gong sound or a lovely breeze versus those that hit like a sharp slap or an alarming siren)
  • you NOTICE and enjoy and appreciate magical things like synchronicity; crazy-amazing timing; repeating numbers, titles, images, words, people; signs and symbols that permeate your world, including in dreams, things watched or heard or overheard, encountered out and about, or online, or anywhere; and so on
  • you go to bed thinking about things you love, reviewing good moments in the day, considering what's done and done well enough, appreciating all that supports your beautiful life
  • you admire and adore the people you live with and encounter
  • you love yourself
  • you love yourself
  • you fucking love yourself, even now, even at your worst, even weak, even covered in snot, even when you hear yourself use that tone you most hate, even when you catch yourself in self-loathing; you just keep learning how to come back to self-love, a place from which, I swear to goddess, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

You're beautiful, and the magic abounds.
Love & blessings, Jaya

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