where maybe you haven’t been Want fewer than 11? Skim the list (bold print is here to help) and go in where you see a spark of something that would represent you showing up for yourself. It could be game-changing. 1. Clean up a stupid little pile somewhere, on a wrongly used chair or stagnating desk corner, that’s really not hard to sort through at all but you keep acting like it is. ENJOY DOING THIS. Notice how easy it is to make something right. 2. Clean the bathroom mirror. That’s it. That does something. Harness the symbolic value, if you want more, and tell yourself, I’m clearing things up. I’m seeing more clearly. I love a clear view of things. (Apply this harnessing and naming of the symbolic with anything you do. It adds layers of meaning otherwise lost on you.) 3. Move more slowly, not just in your walking gait, but in your gestures. Do this especially if you typically move fast; especially if you think you have a lot to do and you need to get it done. Move slowly. Move deliberately. Feel yourself moving through space, through time, through your life. (Note this is a presence practice, a SIMPLE trick to be more conscious.) Feel that your life matters, this moment matters. Your life is not to be rushed through. 4. Talk to yourself out loud (double-duty accomplished if, as you talk, you’re walking the dog or watering plants or wiping surfaces or stretching your amazing body) and give yourself a whole bunch of good and real and true LOOK AT ME messages, just between you and you. Here’s a brief audio example, just between you & me. 5. Pause with every apology you hear yourself make (until you can pause it before it gets stated out loud, until you break yourself of this habit), and consider whether there was actually something to apologize for. You’ll mostly find there wasn’t, so take it back. I mean this: quit apologizing for little stupid things like not responding to a text when you think someone wanted you to. Categorically DO NOT APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU’VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG. Or hear yourself and take it back (at least between you & you). Learn to say I’m sorry only when you’ve actually violated your own code of ethics, when your own integrity feels affronted by your own actions. And then it will mean something, and you won’t be walking around apologizing for your existence, for taking up space, for being a human being born onto this planet. Here are some examples of sorry apologies if you want more guidelines for that. 6. Have more fun. Feel good more often. Laugh more. This does a million times more good than a gratitude journal, so if you like things like that, like this too. Feel good about whatever part of current conditions you can feel good about. Focus on what’s fun, what’s easy, what feels good, what you’re proud of, what makes you laugh, what brings pleasure. Cultivate all of this. Make it a project. 7. Get faster & faster at interrupting trains of thought that don’t serve you. That means anything about what’s wrong with you, how you’re not doing enough, how you’re doing it wrong, how this isn’t good enough, how this isn’t okay. That means interrupt it as it comes up, now and now and now. IMMEDIATELY give yourself kinder and truer messages, as many as you can string together. Ideally, do this out loud or in writing. 8.Deal with something, one thing, that’s kind of big and pretty much ignored. Lighten the thing that weighs you down. You know what’s waiting for you. Just start it. And then do another bit another time, soon. Go in via your point of least resistance, just to show yourself you can. Do on bite-sized piece until you’ve found your inner pac-man that can gobble up anything. (Is pac-man still a thing?) 9. Go to bed feeling good about the day. Appreciate all it held and all you did. If you can’t feel good about today, for some reason, at least be done with it. Put it down fully. Be done with today. You did enough. You did well enough. LITERALLY NEVER GO TO BED CARRYING WITH YOU A SENSE OF AN UNFINISHED NOT-ENOUGH DAY. Never. Never. Just quit it.
10. When you go to bed, tell yourself, Tomorrow, All things new, All things possible. If you want or need help to really set yourself up for letting go of today and looking toward a tomorrow full of possibility, go to sleep listening to affirmations or soothing music. My current favorites are from Crea tu frecuencia. Yeah, they’re in Spanish (I personally think this beats Duolingo by a long shot). Lots of people provide them in English. Try Jason Stevenson, if you like Aussie accents & a soothing male voice. 11. When you wake up, do things INSTANTLY to set yourself up for a good day. Do not start the day telling yourself awful things or cultivating things like fear and dread and sorrow. If you wake up already feeling some kind of way, DO NOT JUDGE THIS. Be sweet to yourself. Get curious. Greet whatever it is with curiosity. What’s this, sweetheart? Do anything to soothe it, soften it, give yourself kind messaging that counters any thoughts that come hand in hand with this feeling. If you’re not sure what they are, write down, “I feel [whatever it is, as best you can name it], and that means that …” Getting your thoughts on paper will point you to the turnarounds that will counter them, and often will start to shift how you feel. Value, at the very least, that you’re not just going with the thoughts that reinforce bad feelings. Because that, my friend, is NOT being your own best ally. I start most days with focus wheels these days (a process from Abraham-Hicks). Try it, you’ll like it. Whatever you feel a wobble about, write into the hub of the wheel what you want to feel or believe, and then stay put till you’ve filled the wheel with 12 reasons you can actually believe—you actually do believe—that center statement. My website has a whole page that illustrates and explains how to make a focus wheel and offers kinds of statements to reach for. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE (not just clients or current clients or anything else you might make up). Come talk to me and/or hear me talk with others about any topic and do body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. New and repeat people come all the time. You too are so welcome to join us on- or off-camera. And another P.S. Did you know that I and a lovely colleague of mine (Rebecca Mehnert) do 3-Centers meditations (dropping in with body, heart, head) 6 days a week (Sundays off) for 15 minutes or less before noon ET (so, starting at 11:45)? Here’s the 3C med zoom link if you’d like to join. You can also find that anytime on the homepage of my website. (Scroll there all the way down.)
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or, Are you a Clown Fish or a Mockingbird? As far as I know, no one has (yet) created a cute little online quiz to determine whether you’re a clown fish or a mockingbird. If you were hoping for just that, please forgive me because, nope. I’ll start you off with a question though, so you can get that buzzy quiz feeling. Have you ever stared at corals in an aquarium? Or been fortunate and adventurous enough to get to swim around and see these enchanting colonial organisms shimmy-dancing in their actual oceanic habitat? It’s one of the most mesmerizing things, to stare at coral. I especially wish for you that you’ve had the experience of dropping in completely to just stare, keep staring, take it in, keep watching, and let yourself be completely wowed by the constantly moving tentacles waving around in the water. Some seem to barely flutter their long or little fingers while others could give a car-lot inflatable air dancer a run for its money! But actually, I want to invite you not to analyze, because the real point of this writing is about interrupting stuff going on in the head. Consider getting out of your head FAST when what the mind is up to IN ANY WAY doesn’t serve you. I want to (again) invite you to interrupt that as fast as you can, because one unhelpful thoughts strings you along faster and faster to the next and the next and the next, and momentum builds in directions you don’t want to go. I want to invite you to practice dropping in to let yourself be mesmerized. Let yourself be absorbed in presence. Make like a clown fish and absorb yourself in coral. Stop the thoughts, stop the momentum in wrong directions. Let’s talk about trees, because they may be more readily available to you than coral. I believe you can and really should (a word I don’t use lightly or often) let yourself get mesmerized by how breezes and winds move through their leaves. No magic mushrooms needed! Just gaze at what’s happening as the breezes sift through and ruffle things up in super-subtle or sweeping ways (and everything in between). Watch and keep watching. This is a presence practice. Ground yourself so you feel your embodied self, connect to the sensation of breath, and use your glorious sense of sight, if you’ve got it, to stare at the fluttering leaves. You are gazing at consciousness itself, consciousness made visible. You are consciousness connecting to consciousness. And … that is soooooo cool. But it’s also a really practical thing to do for your well-being. This could support you as often as you let it, perhaps MANY TIMES A DAY EVERY DAY, to get out of your head and shift your state when it would serve you to do so. You can do this with one single tree or a vast treeline, whatever you have access to. Failing that, substitute grass or a bush or anything you can come up with that will do in the moment. We’re taught to stay with the contents of our heads instead of interrupting it. But it’s actually not helpful to stay with what feels
I include solution-oriented, which sounds a whole lot more positive than the others, because, as Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” So you need to LOOK AWAY, not to stay with it, when you don’t feel expansive, fresh, insightful, inspired, creative—all signs that signal you’ve opened to higher mind and are ready to see something new. I know you know the difference. Wanna be a clown fish or a mockingbird? Use coral or use trees. Be whatever you want and use whatever comes into view, whatever comes to your creative mind. Lighten things up by moving away from what’s weighing you down mentally. Laugh at your old self who thought it was good and wise to stay with muddled or distressed thinking and do something radical here and now. Call yourself back to presence.
Here comes a reminder of the 3 steps for coming to presence (and bonus—soothe your nervous system that got agitated by your thoughts).
Let the mind be mesmerized—or at least interrupted--by the staring (ideally as you consciously ground and breathe). Stay with it, even for a bit. Drop in. You can simply step outside or stand at the window for 2 or 3 minutes of leaf gazing. It feels amazing. It’s a great and simple reset. When you feel soothed and perhaps inspired, Now what? Now you might be able to see something from a new perspective and open to creative ways of moving through your life as it is right now, scooching toward the life you’re seeking to create. Love & blessings, Jaya P.S. Monday-night group-coaching drop-in sessions are FOR EVERYONE (not just clients or current clients or anything else you might make up). Come talk to me and/or hear me talk with others about any topic and do body, heart, and head processes for release, clarity, alignment. New and repeat people come all the time. You too are so welcome to join us on- or off-camera. And another P.S. Did you know that I and a lovely colleague of mine (Rebecca Mehnert) do 3-Centers meditations (dropping in with body, heart, head) 6 days a week (Sundays off) for 15 minutes or less before noon ET (so, starting at 11:45)? Here’s the 3C med zoom link if you’d like to join. You can also find that anytime on the homepage of my website. (Scroll there all the way down.) |
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